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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

04 Apr 2010   #801
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by edrik View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by harry5 View Post
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of 12 year old scotch. A drunk at the end of the bar lifts his head and looks at the guy. Bartender pours a glass of cheap scotch out of the drink well and gives it to the guy. He tastes it and says “This is some of your rot gut from your cheap stuff. I said 12 years old.” He now has the drunk’s full attention. The bartender pours a glass of Johnny Walker and gives it to the guy. He sips it and says “This is better but I think its Johnny Walker Red and that is not 12 years old.” The drunk is now totally amazed. Bartender pours a glass of Glenfiddich. The guy tastes it and says “Now that’s a good scotch. Glenfiddich 12 years old.” The drunk says “Hey buddy try shum a thish.” and slides a glass to the guy. He takes a sip. “Oh man! That tastes like piss!” “Hey thash purty ghoud” the drunk says………”How old am I?”
LOL !! hahahaha xD

okay I got one too


A man that survived a plane crash got stranded on an island and has been living there for several months, time came and he felt his "needs" and since there's no one else living on the island he had his eyes set on a camel he found on the island. But his problems only got worse because he reach for the camel's (you know...) so what he did is he took a stool and tried again to put it in but the camel keeps on moving away, he tries it again... but again the camel moved away. Days went past, he still cant get the camel.. but one fateful night another plane crashed on the island so the man went around to see if there were any survivors. From afar he saw someone trying to swim towards the island so he dived into the water to lend that person a hand and when he reached the survivor, he found out that it was a woman.
The man is in LUCK!!
So the woman said, "Thank you, in return for saving my life you can do anything you want to me".
The man replied, "REALLY ?!?!"
The woman blushed and answered, "Yes.. tell me anything I'll do anything for you"
The man said, "Okay then, come with me..."
So the man grabbed the woman by her hand and went towards the camel.
The man said, "Can you hold her still? She keeps on moving everytime i try to put it in"

My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Apr 2010   #802
johnwillyums

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
 
 

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head?

Doug.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Apr 2010   #803
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by johnwillyums View Post
What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head?

Doug.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

05 Apr 2010   #804
edrik

Windows 7 Home Premium SP1 64-bit
 
 

What do you call a woman who's been punched by Batman?-----PAM
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 Apr 2010   #805
gladson1976

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx
 
 

If S+J is a Simple Joke

1. What is a Complex Joke ?


Ans: S+iJ

2. Why wouldn't anybody laugh for a Complex Joke ?


Ans: 'Cos the Joke part is Imaginary
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 Apr 2010   #806
johnwillyums

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
 
 

What do you call a man with a seagull perched on his head?

Cliff
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 Apr 2010   #807
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by johnwillyums View Post
What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head?

Doug.
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by edrik View Post
What do you call a woman who's been punched by Batman?-----PAM
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by johnwillyums View Post
What do you call a man with a seagull perched on his head?

Cliff

These are funny in an odd way!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 Apr 2010   #808
tw33k

Windows 7 Ultimate (x64) SP1
 
 

What do you call a man floating in a swimming pool?


Bob
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 Apr 2010   #809
johnwillyums

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
 
 

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 Apr 2010   #810
edrik

Windows 7 Home Premium SP1 64-bit
 
 

What do you call a woman making police car sounds ?


NINA
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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