New
#821
What do you call 7 blonds under a semi-trailer.... air ride..
Jokes Thread
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New #823
Two rednecks are in a boat fishing one day and one redneck gets a bite. He pulls up a lamp and rubs the mud off of it. A genie appears and says "I will grant you each a wish for releasing me from my slumber."
So the first redneck thinks long and hard and finally makes his wish "I wish for a roast beef sandwich" and poof a roast beef sandwich appears before the redneck. The second one says " What a waste you could have wished for anything you wanted." "I was hungry" replies the first redneck.
So the second redneck thinks longer and harder wanting to not waste his wish. He finally speaks up and makes his wish. "I wish....The lake was made of beer!"
The first redneck looks at him and says "You idiot! Now we gotta piss in the boat"
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New #824
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."
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New #828
Baptising an Irishman
A Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher... The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Yes, OI am.'
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'
The drunk replies, 'No, OI haven't found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus me brother?'
The drunk again answers, 'No, OI I haven't found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again --- But this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'
(Are you ready for this????)
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
'Are you sure this is where he fell in?'Last edited by Brink; 08 Apr 2010 at 21:57.
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New #829
HAHA, nice one harry
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