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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

23 Apr 2010   #901
arkhi

Windows 2000 5.0 Build 2195
 
 





My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Apr 2010   #902
Arc

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Insider Preview 64-bit
 
 

The microsoft word thing ... I thank it's a reality.
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25 Apr 2010   #903
thefabe

Windows 7 ultimate 64 bit / XP Home sp3
 
 

A blond woman goes to her doctor to find out if she's pregnant. the doctor runs the test and comes back in and says, congratulations your pregnant. She was so excited she then asked the doctor, Are you sure it's mine?
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.

25 Apr 2010   #904
johnwillyums

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
 
 

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?


One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Apr 2010   #905
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Question:
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer:
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i. e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.

The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.

Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Apr 2010   #906
Jonathan_King

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 

Nice one Kari.
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25 Apr 2010   #907
Arc

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Insider Preview 64-bit
 
 

Brilliant joke, Kari !
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Apr 2010   #908
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

A very good one, Kari; and, John, I like the psychotherapist one.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Apr 2010   #909
acurasd

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

How do you circumsize a redneck?

Kick his sister in the Jaw

How do you seperate the greek men from the greek boys?

with a crow bar
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Apr 2010   #910
Arc

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Insider Preview 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by acurasd View Post
How do you circumsize a redneck?

Kick his sister in the Jaw

How do you seperate the greek men from the greek boys?

with a crow bar
It seems than I can't get that joke
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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