New
#1011
The Loan
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan
officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a
new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title
and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as
collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all
enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as
collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blond
returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are
a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"
The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I
return?"
Finally, a smart blond joke
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas .
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'
Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.'
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!'
Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'
'Nope', she replied.
'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied,
'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
Shoulda bought a hat