Jokes Thread

I would like to make an apology to the Admin and Mods on my last post here on this thread. I know it's not good to do that, and it was my mistake.

Again sorry and thanks for the reminder.

elsuirad said:

I would like to make an apology to the Admin and Mods on my last post here on this thread. I know it's not good to do that, and it was my mistake.

Again sorry and thanks for the reminder.

No worries. The goal is to not do it again, not go about feeling bad about it.

My Hero!

“I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'?
Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background,
and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, and other alcoholic beverages into urine”

The Howling Wolves said:

My Hero!

“I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'?
Well, I'm fortunate to be interested in a chemistry,
and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, and other alcoholic beverages into urine”

A shame I can not rep you! I'm going to use this answer every time someone asks what do I do now when retired.

Do I have your permission to change some words (my version in red), for that statement to be more truthful?

Kari said:

The Howling Wolves said:

My Hero!

“I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'?
Well, I'm fortunate to be interested in a chemistry,
and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, and other alcoholic beverages into urine”

A shame I can not rep you! I'm going to use this answer every time someone asks what do I do now when retired.

Do I have your permission to change some words (my version in red), for that statement to be more truthful?

Kari,
You have my permission to do whatever you want with this joke.
Somehow I knew you would be one of the first to reply to it.
I am not looking for reps anyway.

The Howling Wolves said:

Kari said:

The Howling Wolves said:

My Hero!

“I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'?
Well, I'm fortunate to be interested in a chemistry,
and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, and other alcoholic beverages into urine”

A shame I can not rep you! I'm going to use this answer every time someone asks what do I do now when retired.

Do I have your permission to change some words (my version in red), for that statement to be more truthful?

Kari,
You have my permission to do whatever you want with this joke.
Somehow I knew you would be one of the first to reply to it.
I am not looking for reps anyway.

I heard you had been working out , Dennis....looks like all those reps paid off!

derekimo said:

This is how he's been doing his reps.

Q. How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
A. Collect!

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?
A. A party line!

Q. How does a barber make phone calls?
A. He cuts them short.

Q. Why didn't the mummy want a telephone?
A. He always got too wrapped up in his calls!

Q. What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
A. Bell-bottoms!

The icon