Jokes Thread


  1. Posts : 9,606
    Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
       #1541

    Subject: PRICELESS!!!


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    > If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
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    > Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
    >
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    > On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
    >
    >
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    > A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?"
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    > The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
    >
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    > Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"








    >
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    > From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's Pizza."
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  2. Posts : 17,322
    Win 10 Pro x64
       #1542

    Biggest tip he ever got!
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  3. Posts : 2,737
    Windows 7 Enterprise (x64); Windows Server 2008 R2 (x64)
       #1543

    DocBrown said:
    Subject: PRICELESS!!!


    >
    >
    > If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
    >
    >
    >
    > On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
    >
    >
    >
    > A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?"
    >
    >
    >
    > The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
    >
    >
    >
    > Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"








    >
    >
    > From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's Pizza."
    Sounds just like my boss, he has done stuff just like that 5 times since I have known him. Once in front of a whole room of managers he did something like the above. He was so mad after the meeting because he made himself look sooooo stupid.
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  4. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1544

    This will bring a tear to your eye....

    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director
    to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or
    friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky
    back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and,
    being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone
    and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew
    left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for
    being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault
    lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to
    play.

    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.
    I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I
    played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played
    'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep.They wept, I wept, we all wept
    together.


    When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my
    head hung low, my heart was full.
    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never
    seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for
    twenty years."

    Apparently I'm still lost..
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  5. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1545

    Joan Archer said:
    That is one smart guy
    Joan we can't let these guys get away with all the crazy jokes they keep telling about us girls.!!!!!..lol
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  6. Posts : 7,781
    Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
       #1546

    yipes
    Jokes Thread Attached Images Jokes Thread-bc.jpg 
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  7. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1547

    Which one is the DUMMY!
    Jokes Thread-dummy.jpg
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  8. Dom
    Posts : 2,295
    Windows Seven Ultimate
       #1548

    The Howling Wolves said:
    Which one is the DUMMY!
    Jokes Thread-dummy.jpg
    2nd one

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  9. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1549

    LilDomii said:
    The Howling Wolves said:
    Which one is the DUMMY!
    Jokes Thread-dummy.jpg
    2nd one

    You win the prize!
    The paper's are ready to send him to your country.
    No refunds or return tickets will be granted.
      My Computer


  10. Dom
    Posts : 2,295
    Windows Seven Ultimate
       #1550

    The Howling Wolves said:
    LilDomii said:
    The Howling Wolves said:
    Which one is the DUMMY!
    Jokes Thread-dummy.jpg
    2nd one

    You win the prize!
    The paper's are ready to send him to your country.
    No refunds or return tickets will be granted.
    On seconds thoughts... I pick the first one...
    What kinda prize is that!? He'll just bring sadness to Britain! Like it ain't sad enough already...
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