Jokes Thread

It just goes to show that the world over, politicians are basically the same. That is, squeakily unclean.

New Synonym: Politics = Corruption

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


"Only when he's been drinking.!"

There's a lesson here....always keep track of who's on your lists and who you add!

Oh and...adding your boss might not be such a good idea after all....

Dwarf said:

It just goes to show that the world over, politicians are basically the same. That is, squeakily unclean.

New Synonym: Politics = Corruption

There is no doubt about that.

Borg 386 said:

There's a lesson here....always keep track of who's on your lists and who you add!

Oh and...adding your boss might not be such a good idea after all....

Borg 386 said:

There's a lesson here....always keep track of who's on your lists and who you add!

Oh and...adding your boss might not be such a good idea after all....

I got us a new doormat ... my wife doesn't think it's funny

Found these welcome mats:
Attachment 89157

Attachment 89158

I hardly have anyone knocking at my door now!

Borg 386 said:

I got us a new doormat ... my wife doesn't think it's funny

I love it! You wife has no sense of humor. :y114: