New
#1771
DNA. the National Dyslexia Association.
Its where dyslexics untie.
DNA. the National Dyslexia Association.
Its where dyslexics untie.
The Hotel Bill
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this:
My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George . Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed us a bill for $350.00.
I explode and demandrd to know why the charge is so high.I told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells me that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'.I insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to me, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.'But we didn't use them," I said.''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that we could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," I said. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, I replied,"But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.
I wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. "But sir, this cheque is only made out for $50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife," I replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
I said, "Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have."
A Redneck was walking home late at night and sees a woman hidden in the shadows.
"Twenty dollars" she whispers.
Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.
They're 'engaged' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife!," Bubba answers sounding annoyed
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well, neither did I, 'til ya shined that light in her face."
Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk Samoan led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.
“What’s that big brass gong for ?” one of the friend’s asked.
“Issss not a gong. Issss a talking Maori clock” he drunkenly replied.
“A talking Maori clock - seriously ?”
“Yup. Hmmm (hic)”.
“How’s it work ?” the second friend asked, squinting at it.
“Just watch” he said. He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an ‘ear-shattering bash’ and stepped back. His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.
Suddenly, a Maori voice from the other side of the wall screamed, “For God’s sake, you stupid coconut . It’s ten past three in the morning !!!”