Jokes Thread

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day.
He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn’t give the sermon.
The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.
The pastor drove to a golf course about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted.
As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, an angel leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, “Are You going to let him get away with this?”
God told the angel not to worry, he would handle it.
Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic.
The angel asked God, “Why would you let him do that?”
God said, “Because, he can never tell anyone about this great shot he just made. Now THAT is living hell!!”

gladson1976 said:

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day.
He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn’t give the sermon.
The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.
The pastor drove to a golf course about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted.
As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, an angel leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, “Are You going to let him get away with this?”
God told the angel not to worry, he would handle it.
Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic.
The angel asked God, “Why would you let him do that?”
God said, “Because, he can never tell anyone about this great shot he just made. Now THAT is living hell!!”

gladson1976 said:

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day.
He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn’t give the sermon.
The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.
The pastor drove to a golf course about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted.
As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, an angel leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, “Are You going to let him get away with this?”
God told the angel not to worry, he would handle it.
Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic.
The angel asked God, “Why would you let him do that?”
God said, “Because, he can never tell anyone about this great shot he just made. Now THAT is living hell!!”

HA HA love that one :)



Steve

Texas rancher and his wife were arguing while touring Paris. They were hardly speaking to each other after being seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.
When the waiter arrived, the rancher said," I'll have a BIG THICK PORTERHOUSE STEAK."
The waiter replied,"Monsieur, what about Ze Mad Cow?"

He said, "She'll have a Salad!"

gladson1976 said:

The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole.

That's only a 150 yard hole..

gladson1976 said:

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day...”

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other

The Howling Wolves said:

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other

Besides that last one, I am doing good.