Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #101

    Pebbly, you're too much!

    See what you started? Everyone's doing it now.

    Jokes Thread [3]-bus.png

    You might be getting a call from Transport for London - they're after good drivers!
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  2. Posts : 2,686
    Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
       #102

    seavixen32 said:
    Pebbly, you're too much!

    See what you started? Everyone's doing it now.

    Jokes Thread [3]-bus.png

    You might be getting a call from Transport for London - they're after good drivers!
    The only problem is she has to be drinking and can only drive the one route from the pub to home.

    Jim
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  3. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #103

    Finally, a word to describe Obama and his voters.

    Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.
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  4. Posts : 6,669
    Windows 7 x64
       #104

    The Howling Wolves said:
    Finally, a word to describe Obama and his voters.

    Ineptocracy (in-ep-tocí-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.
    There's one thing a lot of people don't seem to realize that I think needs more attention. For every 12 dollars we put into welfare barely a dollar of it actually makes it to the end of the line. The rest of the money is all used supporting the massive bureaucracy that has built up around the welfare system.

    ...so once again it's not the poor... it's the government...
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  5. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #105



    A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.
    She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
    It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.
    Their insight will surprise you!
    While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

    1.
    Don't change horses

    until they stop running.

    2.
    Strike while the

    bug is close.

    3.
    It's always darkest before

    Daylight Saving Time.

    4.
    Never underestimate the power of

    termites.

    5.
    You can lead a horse to water but

    how?

    6.
    Don't bite the hand that

    looks dirty.

    7.
    No news is

    impossible.

    8.
    A miss is as good as a

    Mr.

    9.
    You can't teach an old dog new

    math.

    10.
    If you lie down with dogs, you'll

    stink in the morning.

    11.
    Love all, trust

    me.

    12.
    The pen is mightier than the

    pigs.

    13.
    An idle mind is

    the best way to relax.

    14.
    Where there's smoke there's

    pollution.

    15.
    Happy the bride who

    gets all the presents.

    16.
    A penny saved is

    not much.

    17.
    Two's company, three's

    the Musketeers.

    18.
    Don't put off till tomorrow what

    you put on to go to bed.

    19.
    Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and

    you have to blow your nose.

    20.
    There are none so blind as

    Stevie Wonder.

    21.
    Children should be seen and not

    spanked or grounded.

    22.
    If at first you don't succeed

    get new batteries.

    23.
    You get out of something only what you

    see in the picture on the box.

    24.
    When the blind lead the blind

    get out of the way.

    25.
    A bird in the hand

    is going to poop on you.


    And the WINNER and last one!

    26.
    Better late than

    pregnant.
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  6. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #106

    Some Mornings I wake up Grumpy, Other days I let her sleep.

    Fat Women are like Scooters, Fun to ride but you would not like your friends to see you with one.

    Got permission to post here from the boys at Triumph Talk..............Motor bike club
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  7. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #107

    Two female friends are catching up:
    - So, how was your evening last night?
    - A disaster! After getting home, my dear beloved hubby wolfed down in 4
    minutes the dinner that took me all afternoon to prepare, "granted" me 3 minutes of passionate love before rolling over and falling asleep 2 minutes later.

    And you?
    - Oh, mine was incredible. My hubby was waiting for me to get back home from work.. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing starry sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit up all the candles we had and our foreplay lasted for an hour. We then made love for another hour and then we chatted until late. It was wonderfull...


    Meanwhile, at the pub, the husbands are "networking"...:
    ! - So, how was your evening last night?
    - Great! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shaxxed and I fell asleep. You?

    - A nightmare! I came home earlier to fix the kitchen shelf. When I
    switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness.
    Couldn't find the bloody fusebox, so when my better half arrived, I took her out.
    It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an earfull... Dinner was so expensive that I couldn't afford the taxi back home, so we had to walk home. Once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these f * cking candles to avoid knocking everything down. I was so wound up that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another one to come. In the end, I was so p!ssed off that it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing...
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  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #108

    Another ....Jokes Thread [3]-ngpeb.png award for Pebbly!
    Wonder where she gets all these jokes from or are these from her past experiences?
    THW
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  9. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #109

    Shhhh
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 5,405
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
       #110

    pebbly said:
    Shhhh
    Shhhhh.....
      My Computer


 
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