New
#1261
I'm driving down the highway when a radio station asks the caller
" what do 1/3 of all males do while driving"?
Her answer is
Pick there Nose
Right You are says the Radio Announcer
You win $25
I was so MAD $%^&^%
I just flipped my booger out the window , well a little on the window too!!!
And changed the damn station
my finger was a bit slimy slippery butt I did move on to a better state of mindlessness
I found this years ago when I was still wondering why my Tandy would not connect to the internet ....
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally, one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..." As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hit the water and, lo and beholdJustin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close tothem. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
During the next tropical storm, Justin figured that the same lightning force would change him back into a prawn. Lightning never strike twice except in stories like these, but while he was thinking of being a prawn again, a flash of lightning struck the water next to Justin and, lo and behold, he turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punchline does not involve prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark" came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate, the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend. Come out and see me again". Christian replied, "No way, man. You'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy. I will not be tricked".
Justin cried back "No I'm not. That was the old me.
I've changed...
... I'm a prawn again Christian!!!"
I was soundly corrected in the post after that.
Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt |