Jokes Thread [3]


  1. Posts : 9,606
    Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
       #1431

    That was Great!
    Jokes Thread [3] Attached Images Jokes Thread [3]-ha_ha_frog.gif 
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  2. Posts : 1,568
    Windows 8.1.1 64bit
       #1432

    Question and Answer


    A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.


    He asked his father, "How does this boat float"?


    The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."


    The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater"?


    Once again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."


    A little later, the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue"?


    Again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."


    Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind me asking you all of these questions"?


    "Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"
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  3. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1433

    " Theater Tickets For Seniors "

    An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theatre.

    When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,

    "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
    The old man just groaned but didn't budge.

    The usher became more impatient.
    "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

    Once again, the old man just groaned.

    The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
    Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the disheveled man, but with no success.

    Finally they summoned the police.

    The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked,

    "All right buddy what's your name?"

    "Fred," the old man moaned.

    "Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer.

    With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied,

    "The balcony."

    Why didn’t you say so?

    He never asked.
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  4. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1434

    thudpucker... GREAT Joke.. I loved it.. bring on more..
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  5. Posts : 8,476
    Windows® 8 Pro (64-bit)
       #1435

    Jokes Thread [3]-joke.jpg
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  6. Posts : 1,491
    Win7 Pro-64 Bit
       #1436

    A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland.
    The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
    “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
    So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs,
    and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
    The boy said, "Yes, she did”.

    "Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time,
    and ask her to explain that to you."
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  7. Posts : 71
    W-7 Home premium
       #1437

    This is from Last season.

    20% OF THE U. OF ALABAMA PLAYERS HAVE BEEN ARRESTED DURING THE PAST YEAR
    AND
    THE JOKES ARE FLOWING:





    ____________________________________________________

    A lady in Tuscaloosa calls 911. Hysterically, she says, 'Someone's just
    broken into my house, and I think he's going to rob me!' The police
    officer
    says, 'We're really busy at the moment. Just get the guy's jersey number
    and
    we'll get back to you.'
    ____________________________________________________



    Q: What is Nick Saban's biggest concern?

    A: Does the NCAA still count bail money as a recruiting violation?
    ____________________________________________________



    Q: What do you call a drug ring in Tuscaloosa?

    A: A huddle
    _______________________________ _____________________



    Q: Four Bama players in a car, who's driving?

    A: The police
    ____________________________________________________



    Q: Why can't most of the Bama players get into a huddle on the field?

    A: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.
    ____________________________________________________



    The Bama team has adopted a new Honor System.

    'Yes, your Honor; No, your Honor'.
    ____________________________________________________



    The Tide is expecting a 7-6 season this year.
    7 Arrests, 6 convictions.
    ____________________________________________________



    Q: How will the Tide spend the first week of Spring Training?

    A: Studying their Miranda Rights
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  8. Posts : 25,847
    Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64
       #1438

    BrightBlessings said:
    A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland.
    The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
    “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
    So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs,
    and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
    The boy said, "Yes, she did”.

    "Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time,
    and ask her to explain that to you."
    I want to hear the answer the mother gives explaining that.
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  9. Posts : 71
    W-7 Home premium
       #1439

    A Ronald Reagan Joke.

    A farmer had some bad bottom land and decided to clean it up and make it grow some stuff.
    So he worked and got it all going.
    One Sunday after the morning church the farmer asked the Preacher to come by and look.

    The Preacher was really impressed. Such big Tomatoes, and look at that tall Corn...such a Heavenly place.
    The Farmer said to the Preacher: "You should have seen it before, when God was doing it all by himself!"
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  10. Posts : 20,583
    Win-7-Pro64bit 7-H-Prem-64bit
       #1440

    Layback Bear said:
    BrightBlessings said:
    A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland.
    The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
    “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
    So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs,
    and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
    The boy said, "Yes, she did”.

    "Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time,
    and ask her to explain that to you."
    I want to hear the answer the mother gives explaining that.
    +2 lol
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