Jokes Thread [3]


  1. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1541

    These are NOT jokes, just some funny observations....

    This article is so funny, and they are all true - Good proof-reading is a dead art, today we use spell check.
    This is what happens when you take "human" out of the equation. Just think - no wonder they are closing written
    newspapers down - nobody can read anymore.
    Next time you read an article just pick out the mistakes, it's amazing and quite fun.

    Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
    This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
    It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
    They put in a correction the next day.
    I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny...

    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    No crap, really? Ya think?

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Now that's taking things a bit far!
    _____________________________
    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    What a guy!
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    See if that works any better than a fair trial!
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    War Dims Hope for Peace
    I can see where it might have that effect!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    Ya think?!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Who would have thought!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    They may be on to something!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    He probably IS the battery charge!
    ----------------------------------------------
    New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
    Weren't they fat enough?!
    ------------------------------------------
    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    Do they taste like chicken?
    ******************************
    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

    ***************************************************
    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Boy, are they tall!
    *******************************************

    And the winner is....

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    Did I read that right?
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 21,007
    Desk1 7 Home Prem / Desk2 10 Pro / Main lap Asus ROG 10 Pro 2 laptop Toshiba 7 Pro Asus P2520 7 & 10
       #1542

    An ambassador riding along with the queen in a horse drawn carriage and suddenly there is a loud fart.
    The Queen turns to the ambassador and says "Oh sorry about that" and the ambassador tuns round and says " Hmm that's ok your majesty I thought it was one of the horses"

    We allowed to tell sick jokes in here??
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1543

    I sure hope so , if NOT then I'll be booted out tonight
    Last edited by LADYPINKtomato1; 13 Oct 2013 at 22:54.
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 9,615
    Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
       #1544

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    I sure hope so , if NOT them I'll be booted out tonight
    Honey, that boot would be retroactive to when you first signed up!
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 21,007
    Desk1 7 Home Prem / Desk2 10 Pro / Main lap Asus ROG 10 Pro 2 laptop Toshiba 7 Pro Asus P2520 7 & 10
       #1545

    Lady Fitzgerald said:
    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    I sure hope so , if NOT them I'll be booted out tonight
    Honey, that boot would be retroactive to when you first signed up!
    Killjoy
      My Computer


  6. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1546

    I have more that are a lot worse... Pebbly and I share a love for great jokes.. I'll keep posting them in hopes...
    well you know....lol
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 9,615
    Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
       #1547

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    I have more that are a lot worse... Pebbly and I share a love for great jokes.. I'll keep posting them in hopes...
    well you know....lol
    'Twould be dull around here if you didn't!
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 53,669
    Windows 10 Home x64
    Thread Starter
       #1548

    John, ask Pebbly what the limit is. You can find her on the Naughty Step

    A Guy
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 7,781
    Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
       #1549

    An attractive blonde arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet ten thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

    She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"

    She grabbed the dice & kissed them, hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly disappeared.

    The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.

    Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

    The other answered, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 25,847
    Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64
       #1550

    Borg 386 I was watching the pair coming and going.
      My Computer


 

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