Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #161

    ...and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles....
    ....after he gets out of the I.C.U. (Intensive Care Unit)
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  2. Posts : 7,538
    Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
       #162

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  3. Posts : 5,405
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
       #163

    pebbly said:
    After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

    He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

    She asks ... "What does that mean?"

    He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

    She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

    He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

    The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
    Hopalong X said:
    ...and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles....
    ....after he gets out of the I.C.U. (Intensive Care Unit)
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  4. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #164

    Assuming he's not D.O.A., he's still SOL...
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  5. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #165

    profdlp said:
    Assuming he's not D.O.A., he's still SOL...
    F.Y.I., he is F.U.B.A.R.
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  6. Posts : 53,663
    Windows 10 Home x64
    Thread Starter
       #166

    pebbly said:
    After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

    He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

    She asks ... "What does that mean?"

    He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

    She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

    He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

    The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
    Step Mistress

    A Guy
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  7. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #167

    Not really a joke as such, but I found this from the Daily Mail's Kelvin Mackenzie.

    "A French University study in South Brittany found that young female hitch-hikers wearing red T-shirts got 20% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift, while those wearing black T-shirts didn't do so well with only 10% of male drivers offering them a lift.

    However, this research was a waste of time as we all know that girls not wearing a T-shirt would get 100% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift."
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  8. Posts : 1,275
    Windows 7 Home Premium
       #168

    seavixen32 said:
    Not really a joke as such, but I found this from the Daily Mail's Kelvin Mackenzie.

    "A French University study in South Brittany found that young female hitch-hikers wearing red T-shirts got 20% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift, while those wearing black T-shirts didn't do so well with only 10% of male drivers offering them a lift.

    However, this research was a waste of time as we all know that girls not wearing a T-shirt would get 100% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift."
    Haha
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  9. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #169

    A little girl wrote to Santa Claus asking for £100 to buy presents for her mum and dad, who were both out of work.

    She didn't seal the envelope and the letter was read by the posties at the Royal Mail sorting office, who had a whip-round and raised £68.

    The girl wrote back to Santa and said: "Thank you for the money. I know you sent me £100, but those thieving sods at the sorting office stole the rest."
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  10. Posts : 25,847
    Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64
       #170

    Only a young English girl would think that.
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