Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Hopalong X
    Posts : 6,349
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       New #161

    ...and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles....
    ....after he gets out of the I.C.U. (Intensive Care Unit)
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  3. Joan Archer
    Posts : 7,538
    Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
       New #162

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  4. panais
    Posts : 5,405
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
       New #163

    pebbly said:
    After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

    He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

    She asks ... "What does that mean?"

    He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

    She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

    He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

    The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
    Hopalong X said:
    ...and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles....
    ....after he gets out of the I.C.U. (Intensive Care Unit)
      My Computer

  6. profdlp
    Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       New #164

    Assuming he's not D.O.A., he's still SOL...
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  7. Hopalong X
    Posts : 6,349
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       New #165

    profdlp said:
    Assuming he's not D.O.A., he's still SOL...
    F.Y.I., he is F.U.B.A.R.
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  8. A Guy
    Posts : 53,407
    Windows 10 Home x64
    Thread Starter
       New #166

    pebbly said:
    After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

    He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

    She asks ... "What does that mean?"

    He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

    She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

    He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

    The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
    Step Mistress

    A Guy
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  10. seavixen32
    Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       New #167

    Not really a joke as such, but I found this from the Daily Mail's Kelvin Mackenzie.

    "A French University study in South Brittany found that young female hitch-hikers wearing red T-shirts got 20% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift, while those wearing black T-shirts didn't do so well with only 10% of male drivers offering them a lift.

    However, this research was a waste of time as we all know that girls not wearing a T-shirt would get 100% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift."
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  11. MWRed
    Posts : 1,275
    Windows 7 Home Premium
       New #168

    seavixen32 said:
    Not really a joke as such, but I found this from the Daily Mail's Kelvin Mackenzie.

    "A French University study in South Brittany found that young female hitch-hikers wearing red T-shirts got 20% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift, while those wearing black T-shirts didn't do so well with only 10% of male drivers offering them a lift.

    However, this research was a waste of time as we all know that girls not wearing a T-shirt would get 100% of male drivers to stop and offer them a lift."
    Haha
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  12. seavixen32
    Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       New #169

    A little girl wrote to Santa Claus asking for £100 to buy presents for her mum and dad, who were both out of work.

    She didn't seal the envelope and the letter was read by the posties at the Royal Mail sorting office, who had a whip-round and raised £68.

    The girl wrote back to Santa and said: "Thank you for the money. I know you sent me £100, but those thieving sods at the sorting office stole the rest."
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  13. Layback Bear
    Posts : 25,847
    Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64
       New #170

    Only a young English girl would think that.
      My Computer

 
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