Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #191

    "Old Land of My Fathers"

    Easy one. I knew it was Welch. Well I figured it was.
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  2. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #192

    How the hell am I going to transport a ton of hay across the pond?

    Google's too bloody handy!
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  3. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #193

    seavixen32 said:
    How the hell am I going to transport a ton of hay across the pond?...
    Toss it in the ocean and let it float across.

    (That's what I'd tell Hopalong, anyway. )
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  4. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #194

    Well the fact I was 99% sure it was Welch made it a lot easier.

    Remember I'm the one that loves to use translators on the forum.

    I'll let you slide on the hay this time.
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  5. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #195

    seavixen32 said:
    How the hell am I going to transport a ton of hay across the pond?

    Google's too bloody handy!
    Send it Air Express and have them drop it on Hoppy's house like the Fed Ex guys do
    throwing the package over the fence.
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  6. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #196

    Hopalong X said:
    Well the fact I was 99% sure it was Welch made it a lot easier.

    Remember I'm the one that loves to use translators on the forum.

    I'll let you slide on the hay this time.
    Just as well, I was going to follow up on Dennis's suggestion.
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  7. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #197

    1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

    2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

    3. Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

    4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

    5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

    6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

    7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

    8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbours are deaf, too.

    9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

    10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
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  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #198

    Today's reminder's!!

    The only reason I would take up walking
    is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

    I have to walk early in the morning,
    before my brain figures out what I'm doing...
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  9. Posts : 25,847
    Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64
       #199

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    LOW Battery !!!!

    A man saved his girlfriend’s phone number on his mobile as “LOW BATTERY”.So whenever
    she calls in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger.


    Give that man a medal!
    Very smart man I will remember that.
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  10. Posts : 208
    Windows 7 64 bit
       #200

    Woman. "Can I drive home tonight?"

    Husband. "No"

    "Please"

    "No"

    "If you let me, we''l have the best sex ever when we arrive"

    "Er.."

    "I promise"

    "Oh, alright then"




    And those words, Ladies and Gentlemen, were the last thing recorded by the Black Box on the Costa Concordia.
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