Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 2,686
    Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit

    A young kid went to the the local house of prostitution and asked for the skankest whore. The Madam didn't ask why and fixed him up. A Month later the Madam ran into the kid walking down the street and asked him why he had wanted a skanky whore. He said the whore gave him VD, he went home and did his older sister and gave her VD, she did his dad and gave him VD, his dad did his mom and gave her VD and his mom did the postman and gave him VD. And that SOB kicked my dog.

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  2. Posts : 5,405
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    New . . . For Senior Travel and over crowded nursing homes.

    I did not know this...

    When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
    When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

    When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart
    When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

    Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
    Warn all your friends.
    I have mine ordered.
    Attachment 198917
    Good one!!
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  3. Posts : 1,214
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx

    Qdos said:
    pebbly said:
    "Thought he was having his picture taken," replies the coroner.
    pebbly said:
    "It’s Keith, the dwarf."
    pebbly said:
    "Four spring Duck Technique"
    Who on earth thinks up all these quips...

    Earth ???
    Do you believe in aliens?
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  4. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit

    Some guy with nothing to do.. so he sits around making these thing to make us all laugh .
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  5. Posts : 25,847
    Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64

    What do you mean nothing to do. Making up jokes is a important thing to do. We need them.
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  6. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit

    lol ... LBBear... your comment made me laugh out loud !!!
    YOU know what I meant....
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  7. Posts : 25,847
    Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64

    I know, it was a joke. Happy smiles.
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  8. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit

    layback bear said:
    i know, it was a joke. Happy smiles.
    ty... I love the joke thread.
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  9. Posts : 1,800
    Windows 7 Pro x64 SP1

    An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
    He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
    After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

    In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

    'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

    3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

    The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

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  10. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit

    Prior to her trip to Oklahoma, USA , Carol (a blonde chick from England ), confided to her co-workers and friends she had three goals for her trip;
    1. She wanted to taste some real western Bar-B-Q.
    2.. She wanted to take in a bona fide rodeo...And...
    3. She wanted to have sex with a local cowboy.

    Upon her return, the girls were curious as to how she fared.
    'Let me tell you, they have beef to die for, and when they Bar-B-Q it, the taste is unbelievable!'
    'And I went to a real rodeo. Talk about athletes...Those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop, then jump off the horses and grab the bull by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!'

    Then came the big question,
    'Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?'
    'Are you kidding me? When I saw the size of the condoms they carry in their back pockets, I changed my freakin' mind!!!

    Attachment 199280
    Last edited by LADYPINKtomato1; 18 Apr 2012 at 15:25.
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