Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 2,241
    Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
       #431

    Maguscreed said:
    "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
    The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
    ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

    "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
    PFFBAHAHAHAHAHA! Best cop and old bloke joke i've ever heard!
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 53,666
    Windows 10 Home x64
    Thread Starter
       #432

    Dinesh said:

    I have been happily married for 1 year and expecting it to last till my death. Oh, all my money goes to Bill & Melinda Trust.
    I don't know this Melinda Trust, but I can settle for half Happy Anniversary Dinesh

    A Guy
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 2,686
    Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
       #433

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
    You are correct. Money and Power are more important.

    With Money and Power you get Sex.
    Jim
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #434

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
    I must agree. There are times when you'd just as soon sit on the couch and watch a ballgame.

    A Guy said:
    Dinesh said:

    I have been happily married for 1 year and expecting it to last till my death. Oh, all my money goes to Bill & Melinda Trust.
    I don't know this Melinda Trust, but I can settle for half Happy Anniversary Dinesh

    A Guy
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #435

    Phone Man said:
    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
    You are correct. Money and Power are more important.

    With Money and Power you get Sex.
    Jim

    LOL hahahah.. only YOU would know Jim.. that's a riot from you...
      My Computer


  6. Posts : 3,300
    Win7 Home Premium 64x
       #436

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
    You are right

    Sex is not the answer.

    Sex is the question.... yes is the answer
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #437

    Thorsen said:
    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
    You are right

    Sex is not the answer.

    Sex is the question.... yes is the answer
    That seems vaguely familiar in a past life... once upon a time... in a galaxy far, far away... maybe???

    ...or was it the outer limits of the twilight zone???
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #438

    Hopalong X said:
    Thorsen said:
    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
    You are right

    Sex is not the answer.

    Sex is the question.... yes is the answer
    That seems vaguely familiar in a past life... once upon a time... in a galaxy far, far away... maybe???

    ...or was it the outer limits of the twilight zone???

    For you Hoppy that was Light Years Ago!
    THW
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #439

    More years ago than I care to remember I wrote out a job application form.

    The first question was Name? so I wrote in my name.

    The second question was Sex? so I wrote in Yes, please.

    I didn't get the job and can't figure out why.
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 14
    MS Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit SP1
       #440

    My Two Brothers


    Someone at work circulated this one in e-mail. I didn't save it, so I found it on the internet


    An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"
    The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
    So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

    The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

    The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

    The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.
    Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.

    Then one week he came in and ordered only two.
    He drank them and then ordered two more.
    The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

    The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."
      My Computer


 
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