Jokes Thread [3]

Honestly, quite a distasteful method to increase the post count, I have to say.

Kari

Eh, I thought they didn't go up in here.

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A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees another guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a very small head. Curious, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body but such a small head?"

The guy replied, "Well, I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her."

"For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,000."

"For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the water near the beach was a 90-foot yacht."

"Finally for my third wish, I wanted to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in those kind of activities." So, I said, "How about a little head?"

Kari said:

Honestly, quite a distasteful method to increase the post count, I have to say.

Kari

It is an Olympics year and everyone is going for the gold.

Hopalong X said:

It is an Olympics year and everyone is going for the gold.

Well, not exactly everyone...

A joke from my friend:

Congratulations Major Panic, you're being promoted!

(Think Unix/Linux)

Today we use more money for Viagra and silicon implants than for Alzheimer research.

This means that in about 30 years from now we all have giant erections and huge tits but we do not remember why.

Kari said:

Today we use more money for Viagra and silicon implants than for Alzheimer research.

This means that in about 30 years from now we all have giant erections and huge tits but we do not remember why.

Idiocracy (2006) - IMDb

Watch this, and have that sinking feeling that the future you suggested isn't very far off at our current rate of decay.

A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.

"I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

"So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"

To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"

LADYPINKtomato1 said:

Are we seeing history making a full circle ?

This cartoon was in the Chicago Tribune in 1934.
Look carefully at the plan of action in the lower left corner.
Attachment 216535

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."
So We return to yesteryear.. We didn't learn the history lesson

Just shows me that "conservatives" haven't changed their rhetoric in 78 years!