Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #771

    Honestly, quite a distasteful method to increase the post count, I have to say.

    Kari
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  2. Posts : 710
    Win7 Pro x64
       #772

    Eh, I thought they didn't go up in here.

    -
    A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees another guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a very small head. Curious, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body but such a small head?"

    The guy replied, "Well, I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her."

    "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,000."

    "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the water near the beach was a 90-foot yacht."

    "Finally for my third wish, I wanted to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in those kind of activities." So, I said, "How about a little head?"

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  3. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #773

    Kari said:
    Honestly, quite a distasteful method to increase the post count, I have to say.

    Kari
    It is an Olympics year and everyone is going for the gold.
    Last edited by Hopalong X; 13 Jul 2012 at 08:25.
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 2,241
    Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
       #774

    Hopalong X said:
    It is an Olympics year and everyone is going for the gold.
    Well, not exactly everyone...
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  5. Posts : 719
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit (O.E.M)
       #775

    A joke from my friend:

    Congratulations Major Panic, you're being promoted!

    (Think Unix/Linux)
    Last edited by Tekno Venus; 14 Jul 2012 at 07:04.
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  6. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #776

    Today we use more money for Viagra and silicon implants than for Alzheimer research.

    This means that in about 30 years from now we all have giant erections and huge tits but we do not remember why.
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 2,072
    Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
       #777

    Kari said:
    Today we use more money for Viagra and silicon implants than for Alzheimer research.

    This means that in about 30 years from now we all have giant erections and huge tits but we do not remember why.
    Idiocracy (2006) - IMDb

    Watch this, and have that sinking feeling that the future you suggested isn't very far off at our current rate of decay.
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  8. Posts : 2,072
    Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
       #778

    A burglar is in big trouble


    A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

    Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.

    "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

    The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

    "So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"

    To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"
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  9. Posts : 3,724
    Windows 10x64 Build 1709
       #779

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    Are we seeing history making a full circle ?

    This cartoon was in the Chicago Tribune in 1934.
    Look carefully at the plan of action in the lower left corner.
    Attachment 216535

    "Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."
    So We return to yesteryear.. We didn't learn the history lesson
    Just shows me that "conservatives" haven't changed their rhetoric in 78 years!
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  10. Posts : 2,171
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64
       #780

    Conservative or not, you've got to be amazed at how accurate it is even through to today.
      My Computer


 
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