Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 710
    Win7 Pro x64
       #801

    Worst date ever: Girl goes on date, ends up as getaway driver for robbery

    Facebook date used me for raid | The Sun |News
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  2. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #802

    One Stone
    The Indian With One Testicle

    There once was an Indian who had only one testicle

    and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that

    name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

    After years and years of torment, Onestone finally

    cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone

    again I will kill them!'

    The word got around and nobody called

    him that any more.

    Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird

    forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He

    jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into</ span>

    the forest where he made love to her all day and

    all night. He made love to her all the next day,

    until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

    The word got around that Onestone meant what

    he promised he would do. Years went by and no

    one dared call him by his given name until A woman

    named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being

    away. Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was

    overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him

    and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

    Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,

    then he made love to her all day, made love to her all

    night, made love to her all the next day, made love to

    her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn't die!













    Why ???













    OH, come on... take a guess !!!












    Think about it !!!













    You're going to love this !!!













    Everyone knows...



    You can't kill Two Birds




    with OneStone!!!

    Attachment 224486
    Last edited by LADYPINKtomato1; 21 Jan 2013 at 18:25.
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  3. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #803

    ladypinktomato1 said:
    one stone
    the indian with one testicle

    there once was an indian who had only one testicle

    and whose given name was 'onestone'. He hated that

    name and asked everyone not to call him onestone.

    After years and years of torment, onestone finally

    cracked and said,' if anyone calls me onestone

    again i will kill them!'

    the word got around and nobody called

    him that any more.

    Then one day a young woman named blue bird

    forgot and said, 'good morning, onestone.' he

    jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into</ span>

    the forest where he made love to her all day and

    all night. He made love to her all the next day,

    until blue bird died from exhaustion.

    The word got around that onestone meant what

    he promised he would do. Years went by and no

    one dared call him by his given name until a woman

    named yellow bird returned to the village after being

    away. Yellow bird , who wasblue bird's cousin, was

    overjoyed when she saw onestone. She hugged him

    and said, 'good to see you, onestone.'

    onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,

    then he made love to her all day, made love to her all

    night, made love to her all the next day, made love to

    her all the next night, butyellow bird wouldn't die!













    why ???













    oh, come on... Take a guess !!!












    think about it !!!













    You're going to love this !!!













    everyone knows...



    you can't kill two birds




    with onestone!!!

    Attachment 224486
    groan.......................
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  4. Posts : 7,538
    Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
       #804

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  5. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #805

    joan archer said:
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  6. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #806

    Joe gm.. here's the naughty girls Sig... lol
    Attachment 224772
    Last edited by LADYPINKtomato1; 21 Jan 2013 at 18:25.
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #807

    Tough-Harley-Guy Legend...
    On January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.

    George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

    She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either, so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

    After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

    It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!!!
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  8. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #808

    Devil in Church
    People were in their pews talking at church.
    Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
    Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
    Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that
    God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

    So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
    The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
    "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
    "Nope, sure ain't" said the man.
    "Don't you realize I can kill with a word?" asked Satan.

    "Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

    "Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
    "Yep," was the calm reply.
    "And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
    "Nope," said the old man.

    More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
    The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 44 years."
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  9. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #809

    ladypinktomato1 said:
    tough-harley-guy legend...
    on january 9th, a group of pekin, illinois bikers were riding west on i-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the murray baker bridge. So they stopped.

    George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the state trooper, and says, "what are you doing?"

    she says, "i'm going to commit suicide."

    while he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either, so he asked "well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

    so, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

    After they finished, george gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the state trooper, and says, "wow! That was the best kiss i have ever had honey! That's a real talent you're wasting sugar shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

    "my parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

    it's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!!!
    :d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #810

    Three men are captured by female savages and are told their appendages would be removed in a manner appropiate to their jobs . The first was a lumberjack so his would be chopped off. The second was a butcher so his would be sliced off. The third man started laughing . The female savages asked what was so funny ? He replied " I work for Electrolux !"
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