Jokes Thread [3]

F5ing said:

A Guy said:

Jane and Arlene...

LADYPINKtomato1 said:

Cell phone in public

After a busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes
as the train departed Montreal for Hudson.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled
out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart it's
Eric, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four
thirty but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not with that floozie from the
accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life
- yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc.

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman
sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe,
yelled at the top of her voice: "Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and
come back to bed!"

Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public anymore.

Attachment 228231

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There is this butcher who is 6foot 8". Wears size 14 shoes. Guess what he weighs?

Answer: Sausages.

BOO!

I Ask To Borrow A Newspaper


I was visiting my son last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, he said. 'I don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPad.'



I can tell you this, that damn fly never knew what hit him.

Have a great week-end!
THW


ps. I am at home... hehehehe

Carl Lawrence said:

There is this butcher who is 6foot 8". Wears size 14 shoes. Guess what he weighs?

Answer: Sausages.

CarlL..... that's cute

Wives never forget their old boy friends


Husband took the wife to a disco dance hall on the weekend.

There was a guy on the dance floor giving it his all....

large leaps, breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works!

The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy?

30 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he's STILL celebrating!!!

Thank you F5ing..