New
#891
All you Grandpas and Grandmas, ...keep those hearing aids tuned up.
--- What Is Couple Sex?---
An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa,
what is couple sex?"
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's
old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction
and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open,
eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.
Got this from another forum....
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St
Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But
Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been
forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden
of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'
'Just three questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked the Blonde.
'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with
the letter 'T'?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'?
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when
I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'
So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some
considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she
had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the
letter T?'
The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'
St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed
the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three
questions' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'
'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of
February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of
twelve seconds.'
St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider
your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away
shaking his head.
A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the
answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question
absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the
answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest
to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any
longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you
arrive at THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his
billy boiled.'
And the Blonde entered Heaven...!
... you're singing it now, aren't you?
I see where Monica Lewinsky is now voting Republican.
Apparently the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
A Guy