Jokes Thread [3]

And the best part is this:

When they decide to get in touch with her directly, they address the envelope as follows:

Mrs Smith (deceased)
Plot 1049,
Finchley Memorial Cemetery,
Great North Road,
London

As if that wasn't enough, they begin the enclosed letter as follows:

Dear Mrs Smith,

We are very sorry to learn of your death.

In order to finalise matters pertaining to your account, we would be pleased to hear from you at your earliest convenience.

The Bank.

N.B. We are truly sorry to hear of your passing. If there is anything we can do to be of assistance to you, please ask.

A young blond woman in a broken moaning voice stated that she liked men who put their money where the mouth is. Billy Bob raised his head and said that he had already put it on the night stand where the lamp was.

The Howling Wolves said:

Funny and Geeky Cool Pics [2]

A Guy

A Guy said:

The Howling Wolves said:

Funny and Geeky Cool Pics [2]

A Guy

A Guy,
I am always a day late and a dollar short.........that's what happens when you get
up there in years like me....

The Howling Wolves said:

A Guy said:

The Howling Wolves said:

Funny and Geeky Cool Pics [2]

A Guy

A Guy,
I am always a day late and a dollar short.........that's what happens when you get
up there in years like me....

Many don't visit that thread, so will see yours And remember what my Mom's 92 year old neighbor always said when I'd ask him how he was:

"Another day above ground..."

A Guy

A Guy said:

The Howling Wolves said:

A Guy said:

Funny and Geeky Cool Pics [2]

A Guy

A Guy,
I am always a day late and a dollar short.........that's what happens when you get
up there in years like me....

Many don't visit that thread, so will see yours And remember what my Mom's 92 year old neighbor always said when I'd ask him how he was:

"Another day above ground..."

A Guy

Or...............I am on the green side of the grass!

"Listen Mr. Tech Support! I have been on hold for the last 30 minutes!!!
All I wanted was for you to install my MOUSE.

THE TOILET SEAT

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks
to paint the seat on their toilet.

Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After
finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower.
Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.
As she tried to stand up,she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her
to the toilet seat.

About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever..
Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts.

Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her
to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study
how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).

Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying,
"Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them......
I just never saw one mounted and framed."