Jokes Thread [3]

"Old Land of My Fathers"

Easy one. I knew it was Welch. Well I figured it was.

seavixen32 said:

How the hell am I going to transport a ton of hay across the pond?...

Toss it in the ocean and let it float across.

(That's what I'd tell Hopalong, anyway. )

Well the fact I was 99% sure it was Welch made it a lot easier.

Remember I'm the one that loves to use translators on the forum.

I'll let you slide on the hay this time.

seavixen32 said:

How the hell am I going to transport a ton of hay across the pond?

Google's too bloody handy!

Send it Air Express and have them drop it on Hoppy's house like the Fed Ex guys do
throwing the package over the fence.

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbours are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

Today's reminder's!!

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing...

LADYPINKtomato1 said:

LOW Battery !!!!

A man saved his girlfriend’s phone number on his mobile as “LOW BATTERY”.So whenever
she calls in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger.


Give that man a medal!

Very smart man I will remember that.