New
#441
Welcome to Seven Forums tommcgtx
A Guy
Jokes Thread [3]
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New #442
Welcome to the Forums, tommcgtx!
Now for my next joke:
As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wondered away, one soldier remained at attention.
The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eye brow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
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New #443
At the end of his two-week holiday in London, a Japanese tourist hailed a black cab to take him to the airport for his flight home.
During the journey, a Honda car passed the taxi at great speed. The tourist leaned out of the window and yelled excitedly: 'Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!'
A bit later a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese tourist leaned out of the window and shouted: 'Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!'
Then a Mitsubishi flew past the taxi and for a third time the tourist leant out of the cab window and screamed: 'Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!'
By this time the taxi driver was getting rather angry, but kept quiet as the scene was repeated for a good number of cars, only stopping when they arrived at the airport.
The fare came to £250. The Japanese passenger exclaimed:'That's a lot for a short journey! Why so expensive?'
The taxi driver yelled back: 'Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!'
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New #445
I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
I changed my I Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro - what a rip off!
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
Earthquake in Washington obviously the government's fault.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Jim
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New #447
Nice one about Moses! I have heard a lot of Jesus ones, but not one about Moses... HILARIOUS!
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New #448
Jim
Evidently on several occasions. That explains everything.I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
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