Jokes Thread [3]

BrightBlessings said:

An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician were moose hunting in northern Canada. After a short walk through the marshes they spotted a HUGE moose, 150 meters away. The engineer raised his gun and fired at the moose. A puff of dust showed that the bullet landed 3 meters to the right of the moose.
The physicist, realizing that there was a substantial breeze that the engineer did not account for, aimed to the left of the moose and fired. The bullet landed 3 meters to the left of the moose.
The statistician jumped up and down screaming, "We got him! We got him!"

They did 'hit' the moose alright .

1.Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows

2.In a world without walls and fences - who needs windows and gates?!

3.Windows is true multitasking... it can bootup and crash at the same time!

Nice jokes Dan

Father O'Malley
Father O'Malley, an Irish priest, was transferred to Texas. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He arose from his bed one morning and walked to the window to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. To his surprise he noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, being a Lutheran and considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true. But we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call!"

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)


I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(you are going to love this..)






" What's for dinner, Zorro?"

heh heh heh

Good one!

That's just great Zorro. Should of added a whip.

No whip.. but I do have a mask !!!

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