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#11
I think good manners are essential, and to me, chivalry is very much appreciated. I am especially touched when people are kind and thoughtful to everyone, and it's so sad that it doesn't happen all that often, nowadays. But specifically on the question of chivalry, I'm a very accomplished professional woman and that doesn't conflict with my appreciating a door being held open for me, or a gentleman offering me his seat, or standing when I approach a table. So THANK YOU, for those of you who still do these lovely gestures that many of us still appreciate.
Imperfect1, with views like that you must be a nice person, which is all important in my book.
As an example, we live near a young, professional couple who are both out at work each day. They have a King Charles Cavalier dog, which is taken out on regular walks before his owners go out to work and after work when they get home.
Anyway, we got talking one day and asked if they would mind us taking Harry (the dog!) out for a walk during the day. They readily agreed, had a set of house keys cut for us so that we could let ourselves in, and the pay off for us is quite simple: as older people we now have no excuse for not keeping fit, we can share a delightful dog and we have made friends with our young neighbours who trust us implicitly.
So, my point is this: if we make the effort to try and be nice to each other, our quality of life is vastly improved.
As for chivalry and good manners, it is said that manners maketh a man. That's good enough for me.
Wow, all this time I thought we were holding the doors for women to get a view of the backside?!?!
I think we have always had a stronger interest in ourselves and family but what hits me is the extent to which it is becoming totally self focused.
Yes I think the basic manners given to strangers is on the decline.
Males and females are physically different (I know), are psychologically different (I believe and hope), are equal (I know). I like it that way.
I'll hold a door open for a women and most are very appreciative. I'll hold a door ajar behind me for a male following close behind and it is generally expected.
Sadly, it's not just the females that come sort of behaviour. I've been on the receiving end of abuse like that for the same thing. It can drive you wild.
It's her issue - not yours. I've found that the "leave here and fornicate with yourself" attitude is the appropriate response.In the second, I held a shop door open for a young lady behind me who lambasted me for patronising her.
I once let a door I was holding swing back on a woman part way through her feminist lambaste. From the look on her face as I turned away, she liked that even less than chivalry
No, you're not wrong. But generally speaking, neither are they to a point.Am I wrong in thinking the way I do or do our women prefer good manners and politeness?
They are growing up in a world where the value of manners and politeness are not being taught and reinforced to the degree that it once was. They know no different. This is equally applicable to both males and females.
As a general rule I am equally polite and mindful of others. If I have a bias towards 'antiquated manners', admittedly it's towards females - but it's not something I'm going to change about myself.
Where my tolerance ends is with the attitude. Ignorance can be understood. It can be changed. Foul attitude? Male or female - forget it. Not worth defecating on.
In a way, the onus falls upon those of us who value manners and politeness to lead by example. For every vile creature you encounter, there are plenty more who are actually appreciative.
Always do the right thing. If someone else doesn't like it then the fault lies with them, not you. :)
(Not that you need to always point that out to them...)
Are good manners and chivalry dead?
No sir. For every grunting teen, I (hope) there is a Dom, or a Jaidyn. It is how you are taught, and it doesn't have to be said, a parents example is a great teacher. I seriously think the internet is the biggest influence. But I am an optimist, and I am polite. Heck, I thank the toll taker for taking my money :)
A Guy
Last edited by A Guy; 26 Oct 2011 at 21:29.