Some important questions for the more experienced members...

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  1. Posts : 11,269
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64 Bit
       #1

    Some important questions for the more experienced members...


    I have only been a member of this community for a short time, and I want all of those here who volunteer their time helping others with their Windows 7 problems to know that I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. Unfortunately, in the short time I have been here, I have seen a somewhat disturbing trend. There have been a few of the more experienced users (users with high reps) who sometimes say things that could be considered rude or offensive to users who are seeking or even giving help. It mostly comes down to how things are said, and sometimes when things are said with exclamation points due to frustration, it comes off as basically calling the person it is directed at an idiot. I had one person cause me to feel this way this week when I was trying to help someone and my knowledge was a little lacking in an area. I'm still learning, as are most of the members on here, even those with high reps.

    I realize that everyone has their bad days, and I also realize that users can get frustrating due to lack of knowledge or lack of the ability to follow directions. I feel like those helping should try not to get frustrated and try their hardest to be patient with the other people within a thread. In my experience, by letting frustration show, it often causes those getting help to either stop getting help because they become frustrated themselves, or to take time away from the problem for the same reason. This seems detrimental to the purpose of this forum, which is to help people resolve their problems and not drive them away from getting help, or from offering it.

    This thread is a bit longer than I intended, but I wanted to get my feelings across as clearly as possible. My questions are these:

    1. Has anyone else noticed this behavior and felt as I do?
    2. What is the best way to tell a higher rep person in a respectful manner that he/she has said something that could be considered rude?

    As to 2., I feel as though I'm overstepping my bounds since I have not been at this nearly as long as the higher rep individuals, so I don't know if it is acceptable for me to point such things out. What are others' thoughts?
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  2. Posts : 12,012
    Windows 7 Home Premium SP1, 64-bit
       #2

    writhziden said:
    My questions are these:

    1. Has anyone else noticed this behavior and felt as I do?
    2. What is the best way to tell a higher rep person in a respectful manner that he/she has said something that could be considered rude?

    What are others' thoughts?
    I've noticed it, but no more than usual.

    I have a very good idea of one veteran poster you might be referring to and can only say it is normal behavior for him.

    It's ordinary human behavior on Internet forums. I don't know how you could expect anything else given the large number of posters and varied personalities.

    As for question 2--candidly----I think your best move is to sit on your hands and leave that to moderators. The chances of your respectful response being ultimately counterproductive is high---even if done by Private Message. You aren't going to tell the "offender" anything he doesn't already know or wants to hear and it may well result in more negative dialogue.

    I can think of an abrasive post in the past 36 hours from one vet to another. The vet on the receiving end chose not to respond and I was happy to see it.

    I'll grant you that sitting on your hands is not easy. Not rising to bait is probably the toughest aspect when dealing with forums.

    It's probably a good idea for most personalities (myself included) to periodically avoid this forum for weeks or months to recover.
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  3. Posts : 18,404
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64 SP1
       #3

    It depends.

    It's hard to convey the intended emotions/inflection on the internet. While it may seem rude to one, it may just be analytical and factual/to-the-point to the next.

    But yes, many times it can be quite rude no matter how it seems. Most all observe this from time to time. If it comes to personally offending members though, you can always report it and it can be looked into further to be analyzed by staff to see if it needs any further action or not.
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  4. Posts : 472
    Windows 7 x64 SP1
       #4

    The only thing I will say is that although there is often a feeling of bad-temperness in some comments one has to walk more carefully here than on virtually all other forums I comment on - which is a bit stifling in my view.
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  5. Posts : 53,363
    Windows 10 Home x64
       #5

    The thing is, certain people have a certain "style". Some may come across as gruff, or even rude, but if you see them posting for a long enough period, you just realize that's how they are. I'm not saying rude behavior is to be accepted because someone is always rude, but that it's more about they are perceived. I also think a less then stellar representation can be accepted if the person constantly provides good help. There are all kinds of people, just as in society at large. Throw in different nationalities, cultures, and ages, and there will be some misunderstandings, misconceptions, and conflicts. A Guy
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  6. Posts : 8,398
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64/Windows 8 Consumer Preview x64/Ubuntu 11.04
       #6

    Yes, I have noticed such behaviour as some other users may have. The fact is though, it's hard to convey emotion across the internet. Short of using smileys (which many users don't do), there's not much way to get out whether you're insulting a user or complimenting them. Your tone of voice is usually what people listen to in order to get the real meaning behind your words. On the internet however, there's really no way of doing that.

    I'd have to say, like ignatzatsonic, I can probably think of a couple of users who show that kind of so called 'rudeness'. Just don't take notice of it, you're doing a great job helping people as far as I can tell. But if it really gets too much to bear, just do what Aaron said.

    Airbot said:
    If it comes to personally offending members though, you can always report it and it can be looked into further to be analyzed by staff to see if it needs any further action or not.
    One last thing; different countries, cultures and communities all have different ways of communicating. One person might find it rude but another think it's completely normal behaviour. Just allow some leeway for the fact that everyone's different and that might just be how they are.

    Keep up the good work,
    Jaidyn
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  7. Posts : 18,404
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64 SP1
       #7

    pincushion said:
    The only thing I will say is that although there is often a feeling of bad-temperness in some comments one has to walk more carefully here than on virtually all other forums I comment on - which is a bit stifling in my view.

    While "all other forums" may seem quite lax on members freely throwing insults at other members, most often than not it's just a poor implementation of moderation. We can seem quite strict on blatant insults towards members. It's all in how one looks at it though. May be strict to one, highly efficient moderation to another.

    Ideally, members should be allowed to post questions that may even seem "stupid" or trivial to others, without being directly insulted.
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  8. Posts : 8,398
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64/Windows 8 Consumer Preview x64/Ubuntu 11.04
       #8

    Airbot said:
    pincushion said:
    The only thing I will say is that although there is often a feeling of bad-temperness in some comments one has to walk more carefully here than on virtually all other forums I comment on - which is a bit stifling in my view.

    While "all other forums" may seem quite lax on members freely throwing insults at other members, most often than not it's just just a poor implementation of moderation. We can seem quite strict on blatant insults towards members. It's all in how one looks at it though. Maybe strict to one, highly efficient moderation to another.

    Ideally, members should be allowed to post questions that may even seem "stupid" or trivial to others, without being directly insulted.
    +1

    'There's no such thing as a stupid question, only the people who don't ask them.'

    The only time you should back away from a thread is if the OP is being rude or flaming. Even if it's the most simple and obvious question, try and give some assistance; not everyone is good with computers.
    Last edited by JaidynM; 24 Nov 2011 at 04:29.
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  9. Posts : 472
    Windows 7 x64 SP1
       #9

    Airbot said:
    pincushion said:
    The only thing I will say is that although there is often a feeling of bad-temperness in some comments one has to walk more carefully here than on virtually all other forums I comment on - which is a bit stifling in my view.

    While "all other forums" may seem quite lax on members freely throwing insults at other members, most often than not it's just a poor implementation of moderation. We can seem quite strict on blatant insults towards members. It's all in how one looks at it though. May be strict to one, highly efficient moderation to another.

    Ideally, members should be allowed to post questions that may even seem "stupid" or trivial to others, without being directly insulted.
    The point is that this forum is similar to most others in that people come for advice and hopefully come away with their problem solved and feeling good about their treatment here. Common courtesy and patience goes a long way to achieve this. Other than that the normal rules of civilised behaviour would seem appropriate for all discussion comments. No one should have to tolerate blatant bad-tempered comments from whoever they might be.

    I do sometimes wonder as to why people join forums - if you are in a call centre and are constantly getting angry and frustrated it might be best to look for another occupation.

    ps Good moderation/Stifling - choices, choices, choices
    Last edited by pincushion; 24 Nov 2011 at 04:16. Reason: add
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  10. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #10

    It's human nature that people feel more secure behind a keyboard when dishing out the dirt rather than doing the same face-to-face.

    Added to the fact that although regions share the same language, culturally they are different and this can lead to misunderstanding.

    I'm a gregarious type of person with what has been described as a bawdy sense of humour. However, this sense of humour has got me into trouble with my American friends several times on my frequent trips to Florida to visit my sister.

    Similarly, I have also found that those same American friends are never backward in coming forward. If something upsets them, they let me know in no uncertain manner so that is no misunderstanding.

    What can seem rudeness to some is seen as being honest and direct in others, but as has been pointed out, you can't hear the inflection in the voice or see the body language when a point is being made on WSF.

    We're all different, we all have different personalities and believe me, this forum is a modicum of decency compared to some I've been on, where you'll get flamed just for saying 'Good morning'.

    All I can say is to anyone who feels sleighted or offended in any way, PM the person concerned, and then go to the mods if you get no response.

    I would say, though, if you're the type of person who is easily offended, you need to question whether ANY forum is the right place to be. I will say here that I'm not pointing the finger at anyone, just making a considered comment.
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