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Windows 7: Today

18 Oct 2009   #151
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by mickey megabyte View Post
man walks into the doctor's with bacon in his nose and both his ears.

"doctor, you gotta help, what's wrong with me?"

"you're not eating properly."

I like that avatar.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #152
mickey megabyte

ultimate 64 sp1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Barman58 View Post
Erm- looks like someone should change their name to mickey moggiebyte
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #153
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Man walks into a bar, orders seven whiskeys and bacon. He then puts the bacon in both of his ears, drinks the whiskey shots one by one, removes the bacon, pays and leaves.

This happens four days in a row. On the fifth day he arrives once again, this time the barman (our Barman?) decides to find out what that bacon thing means.
  • "Seven whiskeys and bacon, please"
  • "Sorry, we have no bacon today"
  • "It's OK. Give me seven whiskeys and two carrots"
Barman doesn't know what to say, so he just gives what the customer orders. The customer puts the carrots into his ears, drinks the shots, removes the carrots, asks for a bill, pays and is just leaving when the barman can't take it anymore.
  • "Sir, please tell me what's that with carrots in your ears when you drink the whiskey?"
  • "What a stupid question, barman! You told me yourself you didn't have any bacon!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

18 Oct 2009   #154
jfar

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by mickey megabyte View Post
man walks into the doctor's with bacon in his nose and both his ears.

"doctor, you gotta help, what's wrong with me?"

"you're not eating properly."

I like that avatar.
Judging by yours, don't look now but I think he has you.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #155
thefabe

Windows 7 ultimate 64 bit / XP Home sp3
 
 

That cat looks like he's getting read to play cat scracth fever.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #156
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Actually, this is one of my favs.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #157
jfar

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

Kari, I like the way you spelled Whiskey correctly.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #158
jfar

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

Talking about cars,
A man who is having gas problems explains to his doctor that
every time he farts it sounds like honda.
The doctor does an examination and finds nothing wrong with the man.
As a last resort he looks into the patient's mouth and finally spots the
problem. "I'm sorry, you'll have to go to a dentist for your problem."
So the man goes to see his dentist. After a quick exam, the dentist
announces that the man has an abscess. "No problem, I'll
have you fit and without your embarrassing problem in a jiffy," says
the dentist.
Sure enough, the man's problem disappears and he no longer makes
farts that sound like a honda. The next week the man calls up the
dentist and thanks him for all he's done for him. But before he hangs up
he asks the dentist how he knew the problem was caused by an abscess.
The dentist replies, "It's easy. Everyone knows that an abscess
makes the fart go honda.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #159
sergiogarcia9

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Actually, this is one of my favs.
Easter bunny



Dead easter bunny
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Oct 2009   #160
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jfar View Post
Talking about cars,
A man who is having gas problems explains to his doctor that
every time he farts it sounds like honda.
The doctor does an examination and finds nothing wrong with the man.
As a last resort he looks into the patient's mouth and finally spots the
problem. "I'm sorry, you'll have to go to a dentist for your problem."
So the man goes to see his dentist. After a quick exam, the dentist
announces that the man has an abscess. "No problem, I'll
have you fit and without your embarrassing problem in a jiffy," says
the dentist.
Sure enough, the man's problem disappears and he no longer makes
farts that sound like a honda. The next week the man calls up the
dentist and thanks him for all he's done for him. But before he hangs up
he asks the dentist how he knew the problem was caused by an abscess.
The dentist replies, "It's easy. Everyone knows that an abscess
makes the fart go honda.

My System SpecsSystem Spec
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