Jokes Thread [4]


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  1. Posts : 53,933
    Windows 10 Home x64
       #101

    jadinolf said:
    Layback Bear said:
    I haven't changed much in all my years. Ugly doesn't wear off with time.
    I can attest to that.
    So you've seen him then? :)

    A Guy
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 9,615
    Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
       #102

    jadinolf said:
    Layback Bear said:
    I haven't changed much in all my years. Ugly doesn't wear off with time.
    I can attest to that.
    Welcome to the club!
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #103

    A Guy said:
    jadinolf said:
    Layback Bear said:
    I haven't changed much in all my years. Ugly doesn't wear off with time.
    I can attest to that.
    So you've seen him then? :)

    A Guy
    No, Bill, I've seen me. Been forced to look at myself for 80+ years.
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #104

    I can't wait till tomorrow...as I get better looking each day!

    till I put on my glasses.
    THW
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 53,933
    Windows 10 Home x64
       #105

    A dog goes into a grocers with a basket in its mouth. In the basket is a shopping list and a purse. The grocer reads the list, puts the goods requested into the basket, takes some money from the purse and puts back the change. The dog then runs off home.

    This happens every week for months and the grocer becomes extremely impressed by the animals intelligence and its dedication to its task. One day he decides to follow the animal home and see if its owner would be willing to sell it.

    The dog eventually leads the grocer to a run-down house where it puts the basket on the doorstep and rings the door-bell with its nose. After a few seconds an old woman opens the door and starts hitting the dog with a stick.

    ‘Stop!’ shouts the grocer. ‘What are you doing? That’s the most intelligent dog I’ve ever seen in my life.’

    ‘Intelligent, my arse!’ shouts the old woman. ‘That’s the third time this week he’s forgotten his keys.’

    A Guy
      My Computer


  6. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #106

    Love it!
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 3,822
    Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
       #107

    If I was going to get a dog, I wouldn't choose a Labrador..
    - have you seen how many of their owners go blind..?!!
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 4,776
    Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit 7601 Multiprocessor Free Service Pack 1
       #108

    So you apply for a job and...


    If you've applied for a job and get a rejection letter from the prospective employer , just send them the following:

    Code:
    Dear [name of the person who signed the rejection letter],
     Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. 
     After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable
     to accept your refusal to offer me [employment with your firm].
     This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
     large number of rejection letters.
    
     With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible
     for me to accept all refusals.
    
     Despite [name of the company or agency that sent you this letter]'s outstanding
     qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that
     your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.
    
     Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately
     following [graduation/job change, etc. -- get creative here].
    
     I look forward to working with you.
     
     Best of luck in rejecting future [candidates].
     Sincerely,
     [your name]
    Last edited by Callender; 24 Aug 2014 at 16:31. Reason: Typo correction
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #109

    I wish I had this letter when I was out job hunting.

    I showed them- haven't worked in 21 years.
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 53
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit
       #110

    With me being a citizen of a third world country with:
    • a bad economy with not much going on
    • high unemployment
    • high migration levels
    • many applications with "no vacancy" responses (if any at all)

    and with me:
    • not being able to get a job for many years now (not even online)
    • being handicapped by being from the middle age range
    • not having resources to start a business here

    I think something drastic might work. I might as well try a new approach by using that letter.
    Thanks Callender. This might come under a joke thread, but I am going to use it in a very serious way. Desperate times call for desperate measures. This might be the joke that uplifts me for many years to come.

    Wish me well and I will update you all soon.
      My Computer


 
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