Jokes Thread [4]

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  1. Posts : 1,568
    Windows 8.1.1 64bit
       #41

    Happy Easter

    Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
    A: He was having a bad hare day!


    Q: How does the Easter bunny keep his fur neat?
    A: With a harebrush!


    Q: What kind of books do rabbits like?
    A: Ones with hoppy endings!


    Q: Why shouldn't you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
    A: It might crack up!


    Q: Why does the Easter bunny have a shiny nose?
    A: Because the powder puff is on the other end!


    Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?
    A: "Heard any good yolks lately"?


    Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
    A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!


    Q: How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
    A: Only one. After that, it's not empty!


    Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
    A: He was a little chicken!
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  2. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #42

    groan.....
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  3. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
    Thread Starter
       #43

    Walking! ....during Pregnancy

    The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in
    full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly
    and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their
    partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

    She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is
    especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
    delivery that much easier.
    Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

    She looked at the men in the room, "and gentlemen, remember -- you're in
    this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.

    The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
    Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

    "Yes," answered the Instructor.

    "I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag
    while we walk?"

    ---- This kind of sensitivity and love just can't be taught!
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  4. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
    Thread Starter
       #44

    jadinolf said:
    groan.....
    I hope you enjoyed a great Easter Sunday.
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  5. Posts : 1,606
    Windows `10 Professional 64bit
       #45

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    jadinolf said:
    groan.....
    I hope you enjoyed a great Easter Sunday.
    Sure did.:)
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  6. Posts : 24,479
    Windows 7 Ultimate X64 SP1
       #46

    Jokes Thread [4]-bubba-johnny.png

    Bubba and Johnny Ray were sittin' on the front porch when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by.
    "I'm gonna do dat when I win the lottery," said Bubba.
    "Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.
    "Send my grass out to be mowed"
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  7. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
    Thread Starter
       #47

    Gary are these 2 guys your best buds?.. made me laugh out loud.
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  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #48

    LadyPT,
    That's Gary and I sitting there.
    I'm the one with the cross necklace.

    Told him that instead of rolling it up and sending it out to be cut just mow the lawn and smoke it.
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  9. Posts : 1,568
    Windows 8.1.1 64bit
       #49

    The Howling Wolves said:
    LadyPT,
    That's Gary and I sitting there.
    I'm the one with the cross necklace.

    Told him that instead of rolling it up and sending it out to be cut just mow the lawn and smoke it.
    Glad to see you are both wearing your best redneck attire. Guess you're going to Walmart agin'
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  10. Posts : 24,479
    Windows 7 Ultimate X64 SP1
       #50

    Jokes Thread [4]-daughter.jpg

    I took my dad to the mall the other
    day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).
    We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
    I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to
    him.
    The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors -
    green, red, orange, and blue.
    My dad kept staring at her.
    The teenager kept looking and would find my dad
    staring every time.
    When the teenager had had enough, she
    sarcastically asked:
    "What's the matter old man, never done anything
    wild in your life?"
    Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so
    that I would not choke on his response, I knew he
    would have a good one!
    In classic style he responded without batting an
    eyelid ......
    "Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was
    just wondering if you are my kid."
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