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Windows 7: Winston Churchill... A carrot ???

23 Mar 2010   #1
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 
Winston Churchill... A carrot ???

Did you know that Winston Churchill is a carrot? Here's the proof.

Let a=1 and b=1

Now b^2=ab (Equation 1)

Since a equals itself, it is obvious that a^2=a^2 (Equation 2)

Subtract Equation 1 from Equation 2 yields a^2-b^2=a^2-ab (Equation 3)

Let's factorise both sides of Equation 3 (a+b)(a-b)=a(a-b) (Equation 4)

Divide both sides of Equation 4 by the common denominator (a-b) yields a+b=a (Equation 5)

Subtract a from both sides and we get b=0 (Equation 6)

If you recall, we set b=1 at the begining of this proof. Therefore 1=0 (Equation 7)

Now here comes the crux of the proof that Winston Churchill (hereafter referred to as WC) is a carrot.

We know that WC has one head. But Equation 7 states one equals zero, so WC has no head. Likewise, WC has no leafy tops, so by the same equation WC has one leafy top.

If we multiply Equation 7 by 2 we get 2=0 (Equation 8)

From Equation 8 WC has two arms, therefore WC has no arms. Likewise, WC has two legs, therefore WC has no legs.

We now multiply Equation 7 by WC's waist size: Waist Size=0 (Equation 9)

This means that WC tapers to a point.

Now for the colour. Take any ray of light emanating from him and select a photon. Multiply Equation 7 by the wavelength of the photon and we see that WC's Photon Wavelength=0 (Equation 10)

Multiply both sides of Equation 7 by the wavelength of an orange photon yields 640=0 (Equation 11)

Combine Equations 10 and 11 WC's Photon Wavelength=640

Therefore, any photon emanating from WC is orange.

Summing up, we have proved the following mathematically.

1) WC has no arms or legs.
2) Instead of a head, he has a leafy top.
3) He tapers to a point.
4) He is bright orange.

By all intents and purposes, therefore, it is clear that WC is a carrot.

Q.E.D.
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23 Mar 2010   #2
Product FRED

Windows 7 Enterprise 64-bit
 
 

lolwut?
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23 Mar 2010   #3
z3r010

 

Wow how times have changed, all that mathematics to see one of our former PM's is a carrot. I only have to turn the TV on to see our current one is a turnip.
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.

23 Mar 2010   #4
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

Wrong: (a+b)(a-b)=a(a-b) (Equation 4)

Correct: (a+b)(a-b)= a^2-ab+ab-b^2 = a^2-b^2

Another Edit: This is done in many forms to try and prove that 1=0, but it is at this point that I always see this failure.

Likewise, the formula "(a+b)(a-b)= " deontes, that there are two answers to the formula in that there are two possible outcomes a+b and a-b... thus two different answers for this fomula either subracting b or adding b. a will never yeild the same result unless b=0
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23 Mar 2010   #5
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by z3r010 View Post
Wow how times have changed, all that mathematics to see one of our former PM's is a carrot. I only have to turn the TV on to see our current one is a turnip.
Isn't that an insult to turnips?
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23 Mar 2010   #6
Barman58

Windows 10 Pro x64 x3, Ubuntu
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Wrong: (a+b)(a-b)=a(a-b) (Equation 4)

Correct: (a+b)(a-b)= a^2-ab+ab-b^2 = a^2-b^2 = (a-b)^2
Which probably means He's not a carrot, but an off color Banana
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23 Mar 2010   #7
Pieloi

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 

*BSOD's*
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23 Mar 2010   #8
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

for all points and purposes, he might be a carrot, but not by this formula's setup
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23 Mar 2010   #9
Little Darwin

Windows 7 Home Premium (64 bit)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Wrong: (a+b)(a-b)=a(a-b) (Equation 4)

Correct: (a+b)(a-b)= a^2-ab+ab-b^2 = a^2-b^2

Another Edit: This is done in many forms to try and prove that 1=0, but it is at this point that I always see this failure.

Likewise, the formula "(a+b)(a-b)= " deontes, that there are two answers to the formula in that there are two possible outcomes a+b and a-b... thus two different answers for this fomula either subracting b or adding b. a will never yeild the same result unless b=0
I don't quite understand the last paragraph... Are you saying that the two terms in (a+b)(a-b) = ???? can only mean two roots? If so, there are many polynomials with a single root. Or more properly I guess two identical roots.

Actually Equation 4 is correct if a=b... The biggest error comes in the following step.

if a=b then a-b=0 and equation 5 is derived by dividing both sides by zero, which is not defined.

Of course if a=b, equation 4 can be reduced to 0=0 which is perfectly valid, but applying undefined functions makes the proof invalid.
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23 Mar 2010   #10
Lordbob75

Windows 7 Ultimate x64, Mint 9
 
 

Actually, this is dividing by zero.

Which makes the world implode.

Thereby proving he is a carrot.

~Lordbob
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