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Windows 7: Wonderful English from Around the World

29 Jun 2010   #1
BrightBlessings

Win7 Pro-64 Bit
 
 
Wonderful English from Around the World

Only the English could have invented this language...


We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.


If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?


Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!


Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England..
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guineanor is it a pig.


And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?


If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.


In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?


You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.


And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop?




******************
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29 Jun 2010   #2
starwolf1336

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

i need a Tylenol now.


Attached Images
Wonderful English from Around the World-bush-duh.jpg 
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29 Jun 2010   #3
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

That's enough to make me wonder how non-native English speakers ever learn to speak it!
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.

29 Jun 2010   #4
fseal

Windows 7 x64 Ultimate
 
 

For some really wonderful randomness... the list of words used to describe a large collection of animals.

Fun With Words: Collective Nouns

It's clear that English was not created based on a set of rules but grew and grew and melded with other languages and dialects as it developed. WIth traditional terms, plurals and conjugations allowed to remain, strict rules coming in second.
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29 Jun 2010   #5
bonedriven

Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by noobvious View Post
That's enough to make me wonder how non-native English speakers ever learn to speak it!
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30 Jun 2010   #6
gladson1976

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx
 
 

In reply to @BrightBlesings,
The English did not invent English
English is basically a language with words borrowed from different languages.
Category:Lists of English words of foreign origin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

@bonedriven, Smile
List of English words of Chinese origin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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30 Jun 2010   #7
electrotune1200

Windows 8 Pro
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by noobvious View Post
That's enough to make me wonder how non-native English speakers ever learn to speak it!

Most native english speaking people can't speak it correctly either.
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30 Jun 2010   #8
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by electrotune1200 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by noobvious View Post
That's enough to make me wonder how non-native English speakers ever learn to speak it!

Most native english speaking people can't speak it correctly either.
Agreed 100%..... like my co-workers who bring things out of the freezer to "un-thaw" them.
I hear that every day I work, and always do an internal
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30 Jun 2010   #9
steve-pressman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
 
 

Sound man enit

Steve
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30 Jun 2010   #10
WindowsStar

Windows 7 Enterprise (x64); Windows Server 2008 R2 (x64)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by noobvious View Post
Agreed 100%..... like my co-workers who bring things out of the freezer to "un-thaw" them.
Ohhh that is rich! Don't they mean "Take" and "Thaw"? Maybe "Unfreeze"?

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