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#11
Yes, it only beeps when Windows starts; the screen says "starting windows" the entire time it is beeping. I lifted each key with a pair of tweezers, restarted two times, and there was no beeping. BUT, upon the third restart the boot menu came back up, it booted windows without me specifying it to (!), beeped for two minutes, then successfully started windows. It seems we are back where we began, captain, with the two original problems.
Could it be possessed? :)