Running into a brick wall with BIOS updates

I'm trying to find a BIOS update for this crate that will support an Intel Pentium D 3.4ghz. The aforementioned Pentium is new (it came to me in the manufacturer's original packaging), and my first attempt at upgrading was disastrous. I've gotten a lot of help from other forums as to exactly where I went wrong. Everything they've told me points to this being possible, and I've managed to corroborate this on my own, but I can't seem to find the right BIOS to make this happen. Can anyone here help?

It's the stock hardware for this thing. Dell, Inc. model 0RY007, Intel P35/G33/G31 Rev. A2 chipset, Intel 82801IR (ICH9R) Rev. 02 southbridge, ITE IT8718 LPCIO, running the Dell BIOS version 1.0.18 dated 02/24/2009. That's all the information I can give...

Yep, that's my mobo. I've dug all over the internet trying to find a way to make this work (even had to translate a page from Norwegian), but I can't seem to find anything other than what I've already got. The problem is, what I've already got doesn't work with what I'd like to install, and I can't begin to explain how much I'd like to not be up the creek on this one...

First, I had to remove a piece from the back of the motherboard (non-essential) to install the fan and heat sink that came with the chip. Power was supplied, and nothing happened. Somebody on another forum suggested flashing the BIOS as a possible solution. I did this, and was rewarded with a case of Phantom Floppy Syndrome, but only with the original hardware. Once I got that fixed, my solution was to get it up and running properly, put it all back together, and walk away...

Haven't had the chance to try it yet. Can't do PC surgery while the wife's home...