Hey there, PokeDude14, and welcome to SevenForums!
I, myself, am just a poor ol' college graduate, what do you expect from me, man! 
Maybe you could answer the following questions to the best of your ability and we'll see if we can help you find some sort of an answer to your battery blues!
- Can you charge the battery at all - in other words can you charge it w/o the lappy turned "ON"? If not, were you previously able to do so?
- Provide some more system specs, (esp. Brand/Model#)
- How old is the battery approximately? (It's the same age as laptop I assume too, right?)
- Are you using the original factory AC adapter (transformer) that was made for your specific laptop?
- How long of a life did the battery previously have w/o AC connected? Has it's ability to hold a charge been diminishing lately? (Any reasonably brief description that quantifies this timeline might prove helpful to us.)
- Think really hard about the last time you used the system and the battery was absolutely, unquestionably working properly. Did the battery happen to run out of charge that last time you used it?
Unfortunately, several very different problems could present with the limited amount of information that you've provided in your original post. It may be software related, as you’ve been working at like you were describing above. It could be a "dead" battery, it could be a "completely-drained" battery or even a "negatively-charged" battery. While the second/third types are OCCSIONALLY salvageable to SOME degree, you almost certainly need a new battery soon either way. Furthermore you need some level of skill to even attempt to fix a battery safely.
It may be that your MOBO is failing. This reasonably means your laptop is reduced to scrap/salvageables. Depending on your exact system there are usually two integrated circuits (ICs) that relate to the power/battery charge of the system. Overheating or poor soldering can lead to cracked joints or shorts, bad capacitors or resistors that short; but in any case, unless your college degree has given you a skill-set to fix such things, their exact source is essentially useless information- almost nobody fixes MOBOs.
One thing you could try, however unlikely it is to be the magic bullet we both wish I could hand you, is to use the method you are describing above but to purge the power from any capacitors in the power regulation portion of your system when you are disconnecting the AC. This is done by depressing the power button for about 10-15 seconds AFTER the AC power source has been disconnected. It would updated your procedure by the addition of two steps, as seen by the double asterisks (**) below:
> Disconnect AC
> Shutdown
> Remove battery
** Press power button AND hold for 10-15 seconds **
> Connect AC
> Startup
> In Device Manager, Under the Batteries category, right-click all of the Microsoft ACPI Compliant Control Method Battery listings, and select Uninstall
> Shutdown
> Disconnect AC
** Press power button AND hold for 10-15 seconds **
> Insert battery
> Connect AC
> Startup
It may be a trivial point, but in the sake of desperation it will allow you to be sure your computer has no sensible charge that might be mistaken for the presence of the AC adapter, plausibly just enough to believe it's plugged in when it’s not.
More likely, answering the questions above as fully as possible will get you to some type of answer.
Any chance you could preform a System Restore to some earlier point in time that you are sure your system was working properly?
Thanks for asking your question here at SevenForums! :)
Mike
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