new external drive format issues

so.
got myself a low end toshiba external portable 500gb hard drive.
plug it in. it works.
decide to do a format - cos my other drives are ntfs, i want this one also. i trigger it, and wait and wait and wait
and nothing is happening so i cancel.
and keep clicking to cancel and eventually it does.

i unplug the drive's usb cord from the drive, wait a bit, plug it in, pc message asks me to format i say yes, put in ntfs and i wait and wait and wait and nothing is happening.

i cancel etc.

hey i never claimed i'm a pc tech.
now after 2 reboots it's plugged in and out and in, i get a message now asking if i want to format i say yes, and eventually i get a message saying

Windows can't format M
Check to see that the disk and drive are connected properly, make sure that the disk is not read-only and then try again. For more information, search Help for read-only files and how to change them.

now i don't know what to do.
the default initially was exFat i'm thinking i should have left well enough alone.

but now i need to try to get it working..

please help :)

it won't let me.
when the drive is unplugged i can click on disk management.
with the drive plugged in i get a popup

You need to format the disk in drive M: before you can use it.
Do you want to format it?

Whether I click 'format disk' or ignore the popup to click on Disk Management, the information won't load
At the bottom of the screen is 'Connecting to Virtual Disk Service' and nothing happens.

With the drive unplugged I can call it up but M drive won't appear.

I tried a reboot, had M drive unplugged because previously with it plugged in, it would not shut down properly.
When it was shut down I plugged it in and it would not boot properly.
It was unplugged, booted, I plugged it in, got a popup asking me if I wanted to format, I ignroed it
Called up the program, clicked appropriately and it wouldn't work.

the toshiba drive is new, bought off ebay, from an asian vendor. 500gb for 30usd

500GB Basics USB 3.0 Portable External Hard Drive For Toshiba Canvio Black HOT! | eBay

the pictures don't indicate it, but it did arrive in proper toshiba boxing, and the drive itself has toshiba stamped on it. i had thought praps due to the price it would be a clone, but i'm reasonably certain it's authentic toshiba.

as i said, prior to trying to change it to ntfs, it was indicating exFat. a quick google shows exfat generally is for e.g. flash sticks. this is a proper external portable hard drive, usb powered. it's usb v3.0. my own pc is only 2.0

i don't know what warranty it comes with, but let's be fair; i'm the one who ruined it, i'm not interested in returning it to the vendor and request either a refund or a new one.

if it can't be fixed, then i'll simply get another one.

all i wanted it for was to put in some of my files, approx 350gb, and send it to a friend. that's it. it's not for long time personal use; i was going to suggest to her that she copy the material off it to her own drive, then put my drive aside as a backup. so generally it's a one use drive.

if nothing can really be done, i think it's ok with me at this point.

the drive is junked so the issue has turned moot.
thank you for your help :)