please don't laugh...

You are welcome to ask questions if you are interested in learning.

Not that you haven't learned enough already.

Currently crawling at 83%, but let's say that thing finished before the end of the year. What step am I taking next?

Honestly? At this point I'm not sure what I'm doing right or wrong, so it's in your hands.
So I'm going for a install via USB?

I just want to clarify, when I do this, do I make partitions with PW or Windows installer?
Also, do I change the boot order via F2 OR should I pick it via F12 boot manager?

I know this is getting annoying for many of you, but I pretty much need a step by step guide of what I should be doing.

And zzz2496, I'll follow your advice and snap away with my camera

Boot the WIndows installer from F12, select Custom install, use Drive Options to create New partition and format it before install. No prob with 100mb SysReserved coming along.

Is your zeroing operation finished and are you ready to try it?

I'm not as polite as the others.

You have received excellent advice from numerous experts.

These people have spent much time and effort to help you.

Since you are having difficulty following the excellent advice you have received, then as I mentioned once before,
GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU!

No excuses. Just do it.

I could relocate tomorrow to Timbuktu and within 24 hours I'd be able to locate assistance.

No excuses. You are an adult.

We are here to help you until you get it installed or find someone who can.

THere are other options: trying to install another OS to launch BIOS update or Win7, creating an image on another computer to apply to your HD with Paragon Adaptive Restore CD, swapping your external's HD into the laptop, etc.

You can reach out to friends and others to help you as needed, but we will not give up as long as you don't. It really isn't within us. Some of us have learned the workarounds for when all else fails.

karlsnooks said:

I'm not as polite as the others.

You have received excellent advice from numerous experts.

These people have spent much time and effort to help you.

Since you are having difficulty following the excellent advice you have received, then as I mentioned once before,
GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU!

No excuses. Just do it.

I could relocate tomorrow to Timbuktu and within 24 hours I'd be able to locate assistance.

No excuses. You are an adult.

You're right. You're not as polite as the others. But you are more of a rude idiot than the others, so score one for you. If they didn't want to continue helping her they wouldn't be. She's doing the best she can, and has been more than upfront from the very beginning about her lack of understanding.

Where exactly do you come off telling her to get help elsewhere? You're an adult, I'm assuming, if you don't want to keep helping, fine, follow some other forum. Maybe someone logged in from Timbuktu.