New
#11
GOT IT! After a bazillion Google searches (and uninstalling Virtual Box, which wasn't related but thanks), I finally got frustrated and contacted Acer via live chat. Wireless was turned off. Turning it on required a combination of Fn + F3. Presto, internet. And now that I look at it, the F3 key has a little wireless symbol on it. Facepalm.
Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate your help and effort. Sometimes I wonder how people ever survived before there were online help forums. :)