Service Pack 1 failing to configure around ~9-11%

If you've stumbled across this thread by searching for this issue on Google or w/e, what solved it for me was uninstalling the multiple C++ Redistributables that were installed on my system, plus re-installing a problematic usb driver via this article: How To Fix ERROR_NOT_FOUND 0x80070490 During Windows 7 SP1 Installation
Not guaranteed to work for you, but definitely check out that article at least. I certainly wish I had known about it sooner.

This issue has plagued me on and off for years, but it wasn't until recently that I decided to finally get to the root of things and fix the issue once and for all. (Thanks in no small part to Star Citizen and XCOM 2 failing to launch without it)

Normally I try to avoid posting new threads/questions on sites like these when 95% of the time someone else already did and got answered, but that doesn't really cut it in this situation unfortunately. After running the SURT, all errors it found were fixed with the exception of 4 missing .dll's from the a folder under winsxs. From what I've read, I need to get them from a computer running the exact same version of Windows.

No error codes anywhere after restarting or in Windows Update. All other updates are successfully installed.

<Problem has been solved, so I removed the attached logs>

Ah, you meant the redistributables. Gotcha!

I hadn't anticipated that they would've been related to this, but looking at the programs list I can see why they might be.
Uninstalled all of 'em. I'll run sfc /scannow again and upload the logs if SP1 fails.

"[...] have a read of this first and see if you have the KB's installed"
Have a read of what?

Tried installing KB971033, says it's already installed.

SFC is saying the same thing it has been each time: "Windows Resource Protection found corrupt files but was unable to fix some of them."
Which I can only assume are the four mfc90.dlls that have been missing since the start.

Rebooted and ran MGADiag, here's the results:

Code:

Diagnostic Report (1.9.0027.0):
-----------------------------------------
Windows Validation Data-->

Validation Code: 0
Cached Online Validation Code: N/A, hr = 0xc004f012
Windows Product Key: *****-*****-7QJXJ-7XJD2-32WPH
Windows Product Key Hash: Fo8w2uq03vwHo1kVTh8gej1PlIs=
Windows Product ID: 00371-841-2711926-85637
Windows Product ID Type: 5
Windows License Type: Retail
Windows OS version: 6.1.7600.2.00010100.0.0.048
ID: {611CE116-56BF-4A5B-BBE3-9B4AA6432504}(1)
Is Admin: Yes
TestCab: 0x0
LegitcheckControl ActiveX: Registered, 1.9.42.0
Signed By: Microsoft
Product Name: Windows 7 Professional
Architecture: 0x00000009
Build lab: 7600.win7_gdr.150318-1623
TTS Error: 
Validation Diagnostic: 
Resolution Status: N/A

Vista WgaER Data-->
ThreatID(s): N/A, hr = 0x80070002
Version: N/A, hr = 0x80070002

Windows XP Notifications Data-->
Cached Result: N/A, hr = 0x80070002
File Exists: No
Version: N/A, hr = 0x80070002
WgaTray.exe Signed By: N/A, hr = 0x80070002
WgaLogon.dll Signed By: N/A, hr = 0x80070002

OGA Notifications Data-->
Cached Result: N/A, hr = 0x80070002
Version: N/A, hr = 0x80070002
OGAExec.exe Signed By: N/A, hr = 0x80070002
OGAAddin.dll Signed By: N/A, hr = 0x80070002

OGA Data-->
Office Status: 109 N/A
OGA Version: N/A, 0x80070002
Signed By: N/A, hr = 0x80070002
Office Diagnostics: 025D1FF3-364-80041010_025D1FF3-229-80041010_025D1FF3-230-1_025D1FF3-517-80040154_025D1FF3-237-80040154_025D1FF3-238-2_025D1FF3-244-80070002_025D1FF3-258-3

Browser Data-->
Proxy settings: N/A
User Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Win32)
Default Browser: C:\Users\Zarkith\AppData\Local\Google\Chrome\Application\chrome.exe
Download signed ActiveX controls: Prompt
Download unsigned ActiveX controls: Disabled
Run ActiveX controls and plug-ins: Allowed
Initialize and script ActiveX controls not marked as safe: Disabled
Allow scripting of Internet Explorer Webbrowser control: Disabled
Active scripting: Allowed
Script ActiveX controls marked as safe for scripting: Allowed

File Scan Data-->

Other data-->
Office Details: <GenuineResults><MachineData><UGUID>{611CE116-56BF-4A5B-BBE3-9B4AA6432504}</UGUID><Version>1.9.0027.0</Version><OS>6.1.7600.2.00010100.0.0.048</OS><Architecture>x64</Architecture><PKey>*****-*****-*****-*****-32WPH</PKey><PID>00371-841-2711926-85637</PID><PIDType>5</PIDType><SID>S-1-5-21-1734206012-1139644240-2510634663</SID><SYSTEM><Manufacturer>Gigabyte Technology Co., Ltd.</Manufacturer><Model>Z97X-UD5H-BK</Model></SYSTEM><BIOS><Manufacturer>American Megatrends Inc.</Manufacturer><Version>F6</Version><SMBIOSVersion major="2" minor="7"/><Date>20140617000000.000000+000</Date></BIOS><HWID>06BA3607018400F4</HWID><UserLCID>0409</UserLCID><SystemLCID>0409</SystemLCID><TimeZone>Eastern Standard Time(GMT-05:00)</TimeZone><iJoin>0</iJoin><SBID><stat>3</stat><msppid></msppid><name></name><model></model></SBID><OEM/><GANotification/></MachineData><Software><Office><Result>109</Result><Products/><Applications/></Office></Software></GenuineResults>  

Spsys.log Content: 0x80070002

Licensing Data-->
Software licensing service version: 6.1.7600.16385

Name: Windows(R) 7, Professional edition
Description: Windows Operating System - Windows(R) 7, RETAIL channel
Activation ID: e838d943-63ed-4a0b-9fb1-47152908acc9
Application ID: 55c92734-d682-4d71-983e-d6ec3f16059f
Extended PID: 00371-00170-841-271192-00-1033-7600.0000-3282009
Installation ID: 000872949294374755478315394832363063960690822850480721
Processor Certificate URL: http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkID=88338
Machine Certificate URL: http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkID=88339
Use License URL: http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkID=88341
Product Key Certificate URL: http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkID=88340
Partial Product Key: 32WPH
License Status: Licensed
Remaining Windows rearm count: 3
Trusted time: 3/1/2016 11:37:52 AM

Windows Activation Technologies-->
HrOffline: 0x00000000
HrOnline: N/A
HealthStatus: 0x0000000000000000
Event Time Stamp: N/A
ActiveX: Registered, Version: 7.1.7600.16395
Admin Service: Registered, Version: 7.1.7600.16395
HealthStatus Bitmask Output:


HWID Data-->
HWID Hash Current: PAAAAAIAAgABAAIAAgAEAAAAAgABAAEAHKIUgfyMlZtG1JwtYjXE3vD4je/Cl5R62KWYkBEuFJ4sFsj2

OEM Activation 1.0 Data-->
N/A

OEM Activation 2.0 Data-->
BIOS valid for OA 2.0: yes, but no SLIC table
Windows marker version: N/A
OEMID and OEMTableID Consistent: N/A
BIOS Information: 
  ACPI Table Name	OEMID Value	OEMTableID Value
  APIC			ALASKA		A M I
  FACP			ALASKA		A M I
  HPET			ALASKA		A M I
  MCFG			ALASKA		A M I
  FPDT			ALASKA		A M I
  SSDT			Ther_R		Ther_Rvp
  SSDT			Ther_R		Ther_Rvp
  SSDT			Ther_R		Ther_Rvp
  SSDT			Ther_R		Ther_Rvp
  SSDT			Ther_R		Ther_Rvp
  DMAR			INTEL 		BDW

Tried installing SP1 again, well this is different. Now it's failing in Windows Update with an 800F0A12 error code.