Jokes Thread 2

BugMeister said:

Heather Mills' mum and dad have bought her a new leg for Christmas..

..it's not her main present, it's just a stocking-filler..

profdlp said:

BugMeister said:

Heather Mills' mum and dad have bought her a new leg for Christmas..

..it's not her main present, it's just a stocking-filler..

She probably didn't have a leg to stand on!

alfred01 said:

Well I certainly can't top those one's, this one is dumb but:
A guy walks into his Doctor's office with a frog on his head, the Doctor says "What can I do for you?" and the frog says "Can you get this wart off my butt?"

That was funny because it was unexpected.

Mike

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says "No, I'm really a blonde".
"I thought so," he says. "You have a broken finger."

pebbly said:

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says "No, I'm really a blonde".
"I thought so," he says. "You have a broken finger."

You just cant hide your true colors

A mother is making her son's bed one night when she finds a crumpled note under the pillow.
It's addressed to Father Christmas.
She thinks "Aw,that's really sweet" and opens the note:

Dear Father Christmas,

I know I said I wanted a bike but I've changed my mind
What I really want is clothes for all those poor children on Daddy's computer that don't have any.
Thanks, Richard.