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#1501
there are some crackers in there, tom!
there are some crackers in there, tom!
I especially like these ones
Here are some funny UK GCSE exam answers from last year, Please Remember, these are all True!If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.
When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.
People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.
It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.
. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
This last one is my absolute favourite,
Q:Name 6 Animals that live in the Arctic.
A: 4 Polar bears and (3 was originally written and then crossed out to make) 2 Seals.
Here are some funny UK GCSE exam answers from last year, Please Remember, these are all True!
. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
This last one is my absolute favourite,
Q:Name 6 Animals that live in the Arctic.
A: 4 Polar bears and (3 was originally written and then crossed out to make) 2 Seals.[/QUOTE]
These are great.
Old Age Golf
Arthur is 90 years old.
He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.
One day he arrives home looking downcast.
"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. Once I've hit the ball,I can't see where it went."
His wife sympathizes. As they sit down, she has a suggestion: "Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try."
"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother is a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.
He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!", says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight."
"Where did it go?" asks Arthur.
"Can't remember."
A few more:
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. (See below for video explanation.)
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g. abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”.
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Last edited by Dwarf; 13 Jul 2010 at 13:01.