Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #421

    Hopalong X said:
    BlackSparrow said:
    seavixen32 said:
    I'd have been greedy. I'd have taken both!
    She said anything you want right? so why not her money too?
    SeaV

    The joke was sent to me in an email from my brother.
    It included a picture of the truck and Tammi.
    You would have just taken the truck.


    BlackSparrow

    If he took her money how was she going to pay for the truck?
    Mike, I've been down Singapore's Bugis Street at 3 am. I'd have taken Tammi!
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 2,241
    Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
       #422

    Hopalong X said:
    BlackSparrow said:
    seavixen32 said:
    I'd have been greedy. I'd have taken both!
    She said anything you want right? so why not her money too?
    SeaV

    The joke was sent to me in an email from my brother.
    It included a picture of the truck and Tammi.
    You would have just taken the truck.


    BlackSparrow

    If he took her money how was she going to pay for the truck?

    Good point there!
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 6,669
    Windows 7 x64
       #423

    A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
    The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
    ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

    "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #424

    Maguscreed said:
    ...
    "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 8,476
    Windows® 8 Pro (64-bit)
       #425

    Reminder to all the Girls:
    .
    .
    .
    .
    We always hear " the rules" From the female side

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!

    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

    1 Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!

    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

    If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

    1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.!! Really

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Cricket or Katrina's assets.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
      My Computer


  6. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #426

    Three pressing questions:

    How long you been married now, Dinesh?

    How long did you expect to be married?

    Am I mentioned in your will anywhere?
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 2,241
    Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
       #427

    profdlp said:
    Three pressing questions:

    How long you been married now, Dinesh?

    How long did you expect to be married?

    Am I mentioned in your will anywhere?
    I don't think he would put you in his will... he would put ALL OF US in his will... all for his money >
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 3,822
    Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
       #428

    - not sure if she'll read your list..
    - simply too busy, multi-tasking.. (or whatever..!!)
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 8,476
    Windows® 8 Pro (64-bit)
       #429

    profdlp said:
    Three pressing questions:

    How long you been married now, Dinesh?

    How long did you expect to be married?

    Am I mentioned in your will anywhere?
    I have been happily married for 1 year and expecting it to last till my death. Oh, all my money goes to Bill & Melinda Trust.
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #430

    SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
    Last edited by LADYPINKtomato1; 18 Apr 2012 at 15:25.
      My Computer


 
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