Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #531

    PRICELESS !!!!

    Does it bother anyone else when someone is on their cell phone and conducts very personal calls that you really don't want to hear but are trapped into listening? You'll enjoy this one.
    After a busy day, and just as everyone was settling down for a nap on the train for home, a man sitting in the midst hauled out his cell phone and started up a loud, lengthy conversation. "Hi darling, it's Bob. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the 6:30 not the 4:30, but I had a long meeting.No, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss.
    No, darling, you're the only one in my life.Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah . . .
    " When this went on more than 15 minutes, a young woman sitting opposite him, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice,"Hey, Bob! Turn off that phone and come back to bed!“
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  2. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #532

    ...Bob arrived home but was never heard from again.
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  3. Posts : 2,241
    Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
       #533

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  4. Posts : 1,275
    Windows 7 Home Premium
       #534

    Lmao.....poor Bob
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  5. Posts : 2,241
    Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
       #535

    I once called Steven Hawkings house
    'Hello. This. Is. Steven. Hawkings.'
    'Yes I would like to leave a message'
    'No. This. IS. Steven. Hawkings'

    Edit: and another one!

    My Guinea Pig passed away, he died at the wheel
    Last edited by BlackSparrow; 25 May 2012 at 04:00. Reason: Forgot to put something in, just remembered what it was just now.
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  6. Posts : 14
    MS Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit SP1
       #536

    Robot for sale


    A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

    He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

    The father asks his son what he did that day.

    The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

    The robot slaps the son.

    The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

    Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?

    "Son says, "Toy Story."

    The robot slaps the son. Son says,

    "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."

    Dad says,"What?

    At your age I didn't even know what porn was!"

    The robot slaps the father.

    Mom laughs and says,"Well he certainly is your son!"

    The robot slaps the mother!
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  7. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #537

    For Pebbly, Joan and LPt!

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  8. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #538

    Also for Pebbly, LPT and Joan:

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

    "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

    "No, you flaming idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her bloody husband!"
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  9. Posts : 365
    Windows 7 x64 / Windows Server 2008 / Linux (Redhat & Deb distros) / OS X / More
       #539

    Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar.



    The bar tender asks...


    "Why the long face?"



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  10. Posts : 7,538
    Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
       #540

    Hopalong X said:
    For Pebbly, Joan and LPt!

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