A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She stares at them for a moment, then she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side of her own head.
Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"
German tourist arrives at french airport. Immigration officer asks him: "Occupation?" The german replies: "No, no, just visiting!"
Don't know if this has been posted yet just seen it in one of my newsgroups.
A worrying thought for 2012 ...
10 years ago Bob Hope died
5 years ago Johnny Cash died
A couple of months ago Steve Jobs died
A few weeks ago Jimmy Saville died
Now we have no Hope, no Cash, no Jobs and nobody left to Fix It.
Let's hope nothing happens to Ed Balls!
Can you imagine that poor sucker being berated by the Regimental Serjeant Major?
"Balls, stand to attention!"
"Balls, pull yourself together!"
"Balls, stop fidgeting!"
"Balls, get your bloody act together!"
[/QUOTE]... or "Fall out, Balls!" Yikes![/QUOTE]
Oh dear, I wish I'd thought of that one!
