Some important questions for the more experienced members...

[Frank1]

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true, but when you can't "please" someone due to a complete lack of self restraint over your manner of speaking to someone that is pleasant to you. Then YOU are the problem

I certainly agree with that. Unfortunately we will at times run into such people. Those are the ones who constantly put their mouth in gear before engaging their brain. it seems that tactfulness and diplomacy is not in their dictionary

 

[rubyrubyroo]

Frank-

I'm just saying that It sounds like "well we can't do anything about some of the people (and that is true, as some are just on the line, where nothing will be done, yet they will not stop) but in general we should (nonconfrontationally stop all thOSE people all the time), the expression sounds like someone is actively throwing their arms up with the expression "we just can't do anything about it, oh well"

I guess I picked up on that part of the "vibe"

 

[A Guy]

Let's not confuse rudeness with gruffness. Some people are just not the smiley, back slapping type. We've even had at least 1 member leave because of friend requests and the chillout room. Was a shame to loose them, but their choice.

I go to peoples home for a living, 20 years +, and if the customer is glib, and has humor, I respond in kind. If they are sour and quiet, I just go about my work. Doesn't make them rude, or bad people, it's just how they are.

If someone is obviously insulting, then there is never an excuse. If it is an aberration for them, then it's just a lapse. If it is their MO, they won't last. A Guy

 

[rubyrubyroo]

rude...lack of humor....= deal with it

transcripts that sound like someone is virtually reaching through a lcd and strangling someone on the other side. (and its always a "3 star megla-guru" vs a "Posts:1" type)

but yeah I occasionally get rude remarks thrown my way or whatnot, unless this thread lost it's conceptual construct the premise was nasty, very degrading, etc. ogres

Mike

 

[profdlp]

Sometimes when I'm helping someone I can come across as too businesslike and/or exacting. Both of my parents were teachers and I guess some of that rubbed off. I probably overuse the smilies but do so because I don't want to seem unfriendly. If anyone doesn't like it they can go take a flying leap at the moon.

(My quirky sense of humor gets me in trouble, too. )

 

[A Guy]

You come across as businesslike?

A Guy

 

[rubyrubyroo]

yea PROFDLP, i learned early...."geeks" and ""sarcasm" don't mix!


and wow...you need to be punished for your businessmanshipness


Meee--o

 

[profdlp]

Now read it without the smilies:

Sometimes when I'm helping someone I can come across as too businesslike and/or exacting. Both of my parents were teachers and I guess some of that rubbed off. I probably overuse the smilies but do so because I don't want to seem unfriendly. If anyone doesn't like it they can go take a flying leap at the moon.

(My quirky sense of humor gets me in trouble, too.)

Women love it, though.

 

[whs]

Maybe we should amend our postings with this button:

 

[bigmck]

In the last 15 minutes on here I read a reply by a vet with an irritable tone to it. On the surface it could be taken as rude. The OP was told twice to read a tutorial and it was obvious he had not bothered. Sometimes OP's just bring it on themselves by not following the help that is given.

 

[rusty post]

Very simply, just consider the source and move on. Why waste your time and take it personally?

 

[A Guy]

In the last 15 minutes on here I read a reply by a vet with an irritable tone to it. On the surface it could be taken as rude. The OP was told twice to read a tutorial and it was obvious he had not bothered. Sometimes OP's just bring it on themselves by not following the help that is given.

Yes, that is a different thing, and the cause of much consternation these days. I'd add when the OP disregards certain suggestions as "that won't fix it", without trying, to the list. I can see why a member might get testy in such a situation. It's a rare trait to just keep on being nice when that happens. A Guy

 

[whs]

In cases like that I just walk away from it. If the OP does not want to cooperate, there is no point in me wasting my time.

 

[A Guy]

In cases like that I just walk away from it. If the OP does not want to cooperate, there is no point in me wasting my time.

Some of our masochist dedicated members just can't manage that

A Guy

 

[rubyrubyroo]

that case in point was kinda like...hmm...trying to teach a raccoon to write a short story. you can just talk and hold up pictures but it's like, "i think i'll start chewing up this notepad while I'm being entertained by this person with all the long words."

No need to do a thing, they will get little qualified help when anyone enters and reads up a post or two.

Mike

 

[gregrocker]

I have taken to gently reprimanding OP's who show disregard for steps which I type out for them. In the past I let this slide and went merrily on because there were others eager to work. Lately it's gotten progressively worse. I posted a gripe thread in VIP so we could vent there so it wouldn't contaminate help threads and learned that many others are experiencing the same carelessness about hard work they are doing.

So I will now sometimes find myself asking an OP if they even bothered to read the steps I took the time to type out and make the point directly that these are known fixes they're choosing to ignore. Some will almost fight me to skip steps so I feel like a mother nagging them to clean their room: "did you reset the BIOS," "how about removing a RAM stick," etc. almost cajoling them to get to the fix. Invariably if I can get them to do the work they get the fix - often the very step I was pushing them to stop avoiding.

The other day I was so conflicted about this that I asked Shawn to read a thread I'd struggled with for 3 days which should have taken 3 hours, all because the guy wouldn't do a step and kept hedging about it. I finally said that laziness was working against us which is exactly how I felt, but it bothered me for a full day that I said that. When he finally did the step and the install worked, he repped me and we traded high-fives, but I still needed to know if I'd crossed some line, so Shawn kindly replied that he understood the frustration and maybe to wait a little longer for them to come through.

Without the collegiality and support of the members and the very best web forums' staff in the industry it wouldn't be possible to keep up the workload and #1 reputation we have, because we struggle daily against a tide of OP incompetence and carelessness that can be breathtaking. It makes having a majority who are eager to learn so much more missed, and I long for the day when more of them return.

The OP's work in Install forum these past few weeks has been exceptional so I wouldn't worry too much about others. Our work alone is what will stand or fall. and SevenForums gives us the perfect field to play on.

 

[rubyrubyroo]

Greg i read it and your comment was less than rude to be quite honest! On a related subject I just got someone I've been debating on for several days, finally I decided not to let the guy treat members (at least these members who did not err) in the manner in which he did. Now hes got a nasty little red-spot to start a collection with maybe. and Shawn cleaned up the post. Its sad that the guyz a "decorated senior member". But the OP you dealt with was nothing like this. I'd have probably resorted to sarcasm, and say... uh hey...bud, remember the words from before.... read them again.
mike

 

[profdlp]

On a side note, I wonder how much of the recent frustration is due to having seen so many of the problems before. In the days of the beta period we were all trying to figure things out as we went along and learning at the same time as the person who had the problem. Now that we've "been there, done that" and (usually) know the most direct way to fix something it can be more frustrating to encounter resistance from someone who doesn't want to listen.

 

[rubyrubyroo]

the last line says it all

 

[rubyrubyroo]

Wow. What a learning experience I had! - It has come to my (unanticipated) attention, that occasionally OPs can have extreme psychological "disorders", as with any forum, and it can manifest in many ways, including one I helped at length, before learning that SF was his sixth lengthy posting forum, and he/she refused to accept answers (passively), to any avail. turns out extreme paranoia/anxiety can be disguised as ignorance quite easily. In the best interest of such cases, I think it is prudent to inform admin/mod of your suspicions, but as I'm sure many members will not realize, or not care (sadly) I can only relay this effectively to the remaining portion to possibly raise awareness of such OPs existence and hopefully prevent the frustration it can obviously magnify very quickly to such levels that very heated arguments could occur, which is very counterproductive for both parties and I suppose could even be rather damaging.

Thank you,
Mike