Jokes Thread [3]

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Cajun heritage and damn proud of it.
Jim :cool:

:thumbsup: New Iberia clan.

coonass2.jpg
 

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View attachment 230006

Cajun heritage and damn proud of it.
Jim :cool:

Ummmmmm, this observation comes to you all from a Republican whose party just held a political convention of thousands of people on the Florida coast -- right in the middle of hurricaine season. . .
 

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Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
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ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
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8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
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VIA Onboard
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Sea level we got no level that checks the sea. We had a wood level once but got lost in the flood. Daddy said it was George W. Bushes fault. Now we don't have a sea level or a wood level.
 
Last edited:

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LG BluRay Burner/
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Icy Dock ssd Hot Swap bays.
Ummmmmm, this observation comes to you all from a Republican whose party just held a political convention of thousands of people on the Florida coast -- right in the middle of hurricaine season. . .

The hurricane didn't go to Tampa Bay where the convention was held.

It went to New Orleans again and caused flooding...again. :zip:

Yes, it's very, very sad that this particular hurricaine hit New Orleans, but my point was not about what happened with any specific hurricaine --- it was that it does not seem very smart to me, to hold a convention of thousands of people in the middle of an area that is vulnerable to major hurricaines, in the middle of hurricaine season. A hurricaine could have injured/killed
many people at and around the convention. They were very lucky one didn't.
 

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HP Pavillion dv5t (generation 1)
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Vista 64 bit and 32 bit (SP2)
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Intel(R) Core(TM)2 Duo Processor T9400 (2.53 GHz
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4GB DDR2 System Memory (2 Dimm)
Graphics Card(s)
512 MB NVIDIA GeForce 9600M GT
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15.4" diagonal WSXGA+ High-Definition HP BrightView Widescre
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1680 x 1050
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320GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive with HP ProtectSmart Hard Drive Protection
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Built-in HP
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Built in - Synaptics TouchPad V6.5 on PS/2 Port
Internet Speed
Max
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~ Intel Next-Gen Wireless-N Mini-card w/Bluetooth ~ Blu-Ray ROM DVD+/-R/RW ~ Integ. HDTV Hybrid Tuner ~ 12 Cell Battery ~ MS Office (Home Premium) 2007 ~

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hopalong/ Godzilla
OS
Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
CPU
Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
Memory
8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
Sound Card
VIA Onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
Screen Resolution
1920x1080; 1440x900
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Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
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COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
Case
COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
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Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
Keyboard
Logitech K-320
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Kensington
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Avast Inernet Suite
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IE 9 ; Chrome
Tourism is a big part of the New Orleans economy and also for Florida. Hundreds of conventions in New Orleans during hurricane season. With hurricanes we get plenty of notice to get out of town. Its part of life and we deal with it.
Laissez les bons temps rouler (Let the Good Times Roll.)




Jim :party:
 

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Norton IS 2013, Malwarebytes Pro Beta 2
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APC UPS ES 750, Netgear WNR3500L Gigabit & Wireless N Router with SamKnows Test Program, Motorola SB6120 Gigabit Cable Modem. Brother HL-2170W Laser Printer, Epson V300 Scanner
Yes, it's very, very sad that this particular hurricaine hit New Orleans, but my point was not about what happened with any specific hurricaine --- it was that it does not seem very smart to me, to hold a convention of thousands of people in the middle of an area that is vulnerable to major hurricaines, in the middle of hurricaine season. A hurricaine could have injured/killed many people at and around the convention. They were very lucky one didn't.


So avoid planning any events anywhere along thousands of miles of coastline for two months out of every year? The chances of getting hit may be slimmer than you think. The chances of getting hurt are much less.

What about areas that see rather frequent tornados, earthquakes and such? Avoid them as well?

Tourism is a big part of the New Orleans economy and also for Florida. Hundreds of conventions in New Orleans during hurricane season. With hurricanes we get plenty of notice to get out of town. Its part of life and we deal with it.
Laissez les bons temps rouler (Let the Good Times Roll.)

Jim :party:

:ditto:

It's rather hard not to be aware of it at least a couple of days ahead of time. As long as you haven't totally removed yourself from the rest of the world you're going to know about it in plenty of time. And then it's up to you as to what you're going to do about it.

Now let me go off and bubble-wrap myself...
 

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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
 

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Put together
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onboard
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onboard
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Seagate 1TB 7200RPM
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680 W
Case
black
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stock fans
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Microsoft
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Microsoft optical
Now let me go off and bubble-wrap myself...
Bubble wrap is the answer.
Protection from winds and it floats.


Bubble-wrapped-street-3.jpg


Still working on the fireproofing! :confused:

fire.jpg
 

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ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
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Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
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Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
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COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
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COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
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Keyboard
Logitech K-320
Mouse
Kensington
Antivirus
Avast Inernet Suite
Browser
IE 9 ; Chrome
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Hahahaha!!!! What's good for the goose is good for the gander!!!
 

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HP Pavillion dv5t (generation 1)
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Vista 64 bit and 32 bit (SP2)
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4GB DDR2 System Memory (2 Dimm)
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512 MB NVIDIA GeForce 9600M GT
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15.4" diagonal WSXGA+ High-Definition HP BrightView Widescre
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1680 x 1050
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320GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive with HP ProtectSmart Hard Drive Protection
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Built-in HP
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~ Intel Next-Gen Wireless-N Mini-card w/Bluetooth ~ Blu-Ray ROM DVD+/-R/RW ~ Integ. HDTV Hybrid Tuner ~ 12 Cell Battery ~ MS Office (Home Premium) 2007 ~
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Hahahaha!!!! What's good for the goose is good for the gander!!!

Looks like the gander will get goosed.:o

Jim
 

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Home Built
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Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
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Phenom II X6 1100T
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ASUS M5A99X EVO
Memory
Crucial Balistic 8gb DDR3-1866 CL9
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MSI R6850 Cyclone IGD5 PE
Sound Card
On Board
Monitor(s) Displays
ASUS VE258Q 25" LED with DVI-HDMI-DisplayPort
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
Two WD Cavier Black 2TB Sata III, WD My Book Essential 2TB USB 3.0
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Seasonic X650 80 Plus GOLD Modular
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Corsair 400R
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Antec Kuhler H2O 620, Two 120mm and four 140mm
Keyboard
Logitech K120
Mouse
Logitech Marble Mouse USB, Logitech Precision Game Pad
Internet Speed
15MB
Antivirus
Norton IS 2013, Malwarebytes Pro Beta 2
Browser
IE-11, FF-27
Other Info
APC UPS ES 750, Netgear WNR3500L Gigabit & Wireless N Router with SamKnows Test Program, Motorola SB6120 Gigabit Cable Modem. Brother HL-2170W Laser Printer, Epson V300 Scanner
All you Grandpas and Grandmas, ...keep those hearing aids tuned up.


--- What Is Couple Sex?---

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa,
what is couple sex?"
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's
old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction
and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open,
eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.
 

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Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
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2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
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8GB DDR3
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Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
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1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
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XXXXX
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XXXXX
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Multi Gesture Touchpad
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USB - portable mouse... I added this
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Avast
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I E 10
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I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
All you Grandpas and Grandmas, ...keep those hearing aids tuned up.


--- What Is Couple Sex?---

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa,
what is couple sex?"
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's
old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction
and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open,
eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.

Nice One :D
 

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acer aspire 5935g
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intel(R)core(TM)2 duo CPU T6600 @ 2.20GHz
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3 gb ddr3
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ati radeon hd4570/512mb
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lop156wh2-tle1 15.3 flat
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1366x768
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OCZ-Agility3 60gig ssd
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500gig external hdd
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Optical
Internet Speed
30Mbps Down/30Mbps Up
Got this from another forum....


A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St
Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But
Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been
forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden
of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'
'Just three questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked the Blonde.
'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with
the letter 'T'?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'?
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when
I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'
So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some
considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she
had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the
letter T?'
The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'
St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed
the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three
questions' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'
'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of
February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of
twelve seconds.'
St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider
your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away
shaking his head.
A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the
answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question
absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the
answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest
to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any
longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you
arrive at THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his
billy boiled.'
And the Blonde entered Heaven...!

... you're singing it now, aren't you?
 

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Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Mesh 955 XGS
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Windows 7 64 bit
CPU
Athlon X4 955 Black edition
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ASUS M4A78 Pro
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8GB DDR2
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1x Radeon 4890
Monitor(s) Displays
IIyama ProLite E2208HDS
Screen Resolution
1920X1080p
Hard Drives
2x 1TB Samsung SATA2
1x 320GB IDE
PSU
600 watt
Cooling
Standard
Keyboard
MS wireless 6000
Mouse
MS wireless laser 7000
Internet Speed
Not as fast as it should be......
:roflmao:
 

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CPU
Intel Pentium J3710 @ 60GHz/Intel B820,1.7GHz/AMD A9 Radeon
Motherboard
Acer Aspire XC-704 (SOCKET 0)/Asus/HP 8312 (Socket FP4)
Memory
8.00GB DDR3 @ 1599MHz/8GB 2 x 4GB DDR3/8.00GB Dual-Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics/Intel/512MB ATI AMD Radeon R5 Graphics (HP
Sound Card
Realtek High Definition Audio/Onboard/AMD High Definition Au
Monitor(s) Displays
Acer LCD K222HQL /Asus 15.6/Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@6
Screen Resolution
1920x1080@59Hz/1366 x 768/1920x1080@60Hz
Hard Drives
1863GBWesternn Digital WDC/Asus/119GB SanDisk SD8SN8U-128G-1006 (SSD)
931GB Hitachi HGST HTS721010A9E630 (SATA)
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Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 (UK)/Inbuilt/Inbui
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Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse/Same plus Touchpad/Same + Pad
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Infinity 2 up to 76 Mbps
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MSE/MSE/MSE and all 3 have MalwareBytes Premium
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Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox, Chrome
Other Info
Seagate Expansion 500GB External Desktop Drive
Seagate Expansion Portable Drives 500GB and 1TB
Epson XP-332 Wireless Printer
I see where Monica Lewinsky is now voting Republican.

Apparently the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.


A Guy
 

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Windows 10 Home x64
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INTEL Core i5-750 Quad-Core 3.37GHz
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HyperX Fury Black Series 8GB (2 x 4GB) 1866Mhz
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EVGA GeForce GTX 750 Superclocked 1GB 128-Bit GDDR5
Monitor(s) Displays
LG 32MA68HY 32" IPS
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
Samsung 840 Evo 120GB, SEAGATE 500GB Barracuda® 7200.12, SATA 3 Gb/s, 7200 RPM, 16MB cache
PSU
ANTEC TruePower New TP-550, 80 PLUS, 550W
Case
ANTEC Three Hundred Illusion
Cooling
COOLER MASTER Hyper 212 Plus, 4 x 120mm 1 x 140mm Noctua's
Internet Speed
85 + Mbps
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
Vivaldi
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hewlett-Packard
OS
Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
Memory
4096MB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
Radeon ATI HD4870
Monitor(s) Displays
NVIDIA GeForce GT220
Screen Resolution
1680 x 1050
Status
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