i have a complaint

[murphy25]

since installing windows 7 build 7077 my life has totally gone,i find myself either trawling the net for newer builds(one must come soon)or tinkering around with stuff (not broke anything yet).
my mrs has been nagging me to paint the kitchen for at least a week but im afraid i will miss something,i need some kind of loud alert noise that will go off when a new build appears on the net so i can go paint the kitchen and get back in good books with the mrs.

 

[smarteyeball]

my mrs has been nagging me to paint the kitchen for at least a week

Silently hand her a brush and point to the kitchen. She'll get the message

 

[dmex]

Silently hand her a brush and point to the kitchen. She'll get the message

LOL

 

[mansrm81]

Silently hand her a brush and point to the kitchen. She'll get the message

:devil2::roflmao:

Make sure you hand her a really small brush so she won't bother you

 

[Orbital Shark]

:roflmao:with a foam handle too so she can't beat you to death with it

 

[murphy25]

i have been given a lifeline (well a small one anyway) i have told her of a super virus thats due to hit the net over the weekend and i must stay on high alert and constantly monitor the computers in the house(6 in all).
also theres footy tomorrow so she said "ok no problem,paint it on monday" so as long as noone has the cheek to leak a build at 3pm on a saturday im safe till monday.
p.s. she isnt usually this gullable:roflmao:

 

[echrada]

What is wrong with women these days, can't they paint their own walls!

I would never ever wait for a man to do anything around the house, car or garden and especially not my computers.

 

[baarod]

With as well as men and women get along some times it's a wonder we procreate. Thank God (s)he made it so much fun for both or there might not be too many people left to fight with.

 

[echrada]

The Whys of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
-----------------------------------------------
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
-----------------------------------------------
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
-----------------------------------------------
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
-----------------------------------------------
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)
-----------------------------------------------
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know......it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------
(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
-----------------------------------------------
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
-----------------------------------------------
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart... Then you are just an old sour fart!
-----------------------------------------------
And another one for the ladies....... One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
---------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: Gay
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death... AMEN
-----------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
-----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
-----------------------------------------------

 

[jfar]

Ooooooooooooohhhhh. You may have just started a war.

 

[murphy25]

oi thats a cheek my mrs is one of these modern women who cant cook and housework has been renamed menswork,i am reasonably intelligent quite good looking for my age and i sometimes wish i was gay(living in a house with 3 females most men would agree).
as for the toilet seat why are men called insensitive if the leave it up i could say the same because females leave it down all the bloody time.:roflmao:

 

[Orbital Shark]

BOOOOOOO HISSSSSS :roflmao:

 

[baarod]

I have this gay friend -- well I didn't know he was gay when he became my friend but then he came out and I was like "Sh*t, no way man!?" but he was like "Hey, I gotta have a good straight dude friend and I knew you woudn't be an asshh*le about it so you're it". SO he takes me to this party with all these HOT CHIX and they are so mean to me, turns out they were all lipstick lesbians. I don't ever want to go through that again. I mean, I was way more comfortable among a group of gay men I'd never met then those women!

 

[murphy25]

did u know that most men CLAIM to suffer from hearing problems after only 1 year of marraige.

 

[jfar]

did u know that most men CLAIM to suffer from hearing problems after only 1 year of marraige.

No,I hadn't heard.

 

[baarod]

No,I hadn't heard.

LOL -- must be married man

 

[baarod]

did u know that most men CLAIM to suffer from hearing problems after only 1 year of marraige.

It's that incessant nagging noise

 

[brusse01]

:roflmao:

 

[garysgold]

My GF says I don't listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.

:roflmao:

 

[Airbot]

since installing windows 7 build 7077 my life has totally gone,i find myself either trawling the net for newer builds(one must come soon)or tinkering around with stuff (not broke anything yet).
my mrs has been nagging me to paint the kitchen for at least a week but im afraid i will miss something,i need some kind of loud alert noise that will go off when a new build appears on the net so i can go paint the kitchen and get back in good books with the mrs.

The Whys of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
-----------------------------------------------
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
-----------------------------------------------
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
-----------------------------------------------
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
-----------------------------------------------
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)
-----------------------------------------------
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know......it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------
(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
-----------------------------------------------
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
-----------------------------------------------
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart... Then you are just an old sour fart!
-----------------------------------------------
And another one for the ladies....... One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
---------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: Gay
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death... AMEN
-----------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
-----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
-----------------------------------------------

roflmao...you're funny murphy25.



You're not a man hater, are you Lesley? :sarc: