A good laugh‏

[Mark]

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it !)


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M..G.!)




A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)



A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)



Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)



The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)





The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)



Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)




The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm......)




Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(Okay, so that would be a good thing)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)


Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

 

[Romulinx2]

Very Funny, thanks.
It's does you good to have a laugh. :roflmao:

Lucky Pigs!

 

[rkseagle]

Nice ...

OINK! OINK! :roflmao:

 

[mxosder16]

:roflmao:

 

[mansrm81]

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

 

[XxKOLOHExX]

This is the most funniest post i read in a long time..
I rather be the lion haha OINK!!! OINK!!!:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

 

[smarteyeball]

(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)

But... then you'd have to do pigs

(Do bushpigs count?

 

[Orbital Shark]

And 'Pull-A-Pig' would be a popularity contest instead of a drinking game LOL

 

[Brink]

Who's your piggy now?

 

[echrada]

You're the piggy!

 

[Julio Andretti]

I'd rather be a lion, we does orgasm lasted almost a minute, multiply with 50 and we can have 20 minutes extra orgasm than the pig.
I mean, do u really wants to be a pig? just see the picture brink has.

 

[garysgold]

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Good one, Mark.

 

[smarteyeball]

 

[echrada]

Oh, Babe has a brand new meaning!

 

[jfar]

No wonder those three little pigs didn't want to come out ,when the Big Bad Wolf was doing all that huffin and puffin....

 

[murphy25]

haha my desktop check this out i just took a pic of my desk.

 

[smarteyeball]

lol

 

[Mark]

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down​

Finally, the guys ' side of the story.
( I must admit, it ' s pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules '
From the female side​

​

Now here are the rules from the male side.​

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered ' 1 '
ON PURPOSE!​

​

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You ' re a big girl. If it ' s up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don ' t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It ' s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That ' s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you ' re fat, you probably are.
Don ' t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1.. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched...
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ' nothing, ' We will act like nothing ' s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don ' t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don ' t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don ' t ask us what we ' re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.​

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this..
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.


But did you know men really don ' t mind that? It ' s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh. ​

Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh.
​

 

[Orbital Shark]

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

 

[jfar]

Number1 is good.