Does anybody suffer from Social Anxiety?

[JBourne]

I suffered with and continue to suffer from social anxiety. I guess my problem started when I was in school and getting bullied a lot. I eventually found comfort in learning about computers/programming. I became a shut-in and only stepped outside when it was necessary (i.e work, groceries, doctor) any other form of social gathering (family parties, events that involve a lot of people) I ignore. I then became unable to talk to people, and became worried when I had to. Anyone else like this? What did you do to become more social instead of socially awkward?

 

[whs]

I guess you just have to mingle a bit more. People usually don't bite you.

 

[Layback Bear]

I have always been a loner. Keep to myself most of the time except for a very few friends. I don't like to be around people I don't like if I don't have to. I haven't seen or talked to a family member for over 20 years. They are liberals and I don't want to be around them.
I don't consider that a problem, at least for me.
Just be picky about who you are around if possible. That's all their is to it.
Everybody doesn't have to like or understand you and you don't have to like everybody. Just be civil and polite around other and expect the same. Thing will be fine that way.

Anybody that tried to bully me in school had one hell of a fight on their hands.
I hear you can't do that these days in school.
Well anyway, once they learned I couldn't be bullied they stopped trying and we all got along.

So what does all this mean. Well you are you and that is okay.

Treat others as you would like to be treated and you will find others with the same thoughts. Some will become friends and that is good. Some will just become people you know and that is okay also. I'm referring to friends that you meet in person, talk to in person and do things with in person.
Do try to remember that even friends are not perfect. They have faults just like we all do.

See if you can find a computer club where you live. That would make a good starting place to meet people that you have something in common with.

I hope this little chat helps.

 

[whs]

Jack's computer club idea is excellent. There you would find common grounds for a conversation. I am a member of the local computer club (over 800 members). We do a lot of diverse activities. It is more of a social club with mostly older folks.

 

[Mellon Head]

I think Jack's idea of joining a computer club is a terrific idea, as well.

I suffered from social isolation for years, and still do, to a point. I cured myself by joining a local "hackerspace" (Not what you think it is. It's a place where electronic geeks like me get together to build stuff and "hack" electronic hardware into things like robots, drones, etc. Some hackerspaces even create hardware solutions for the disabled to make their lives easier, and hold classes aimed at guiding budding engineers and young adults into worthwhile careers. I think that they should be more accurately called "makerspaces", but "hackerspace" is what the name is.) The point is, I got out and got together with like minded individuals with similar interests. I'm having a great time, and getting to know people. It's still hard to socialize sometimes, but I'm getting better at it, and I actually have friends now that I can just call and talk to if I want to.

I can't tell you how much of a positive influence this has made on my life.

If you have computer programming skills, your local hackerspace can use you. I'm sure there is a project out there that needs your talents, and you'll make friends in the process. If you don't want to join a computer club, maybe a place like that is up your alley. Build things, have fun, and maybe help the community at the same time.

 

[mjf]

Some people are naturally gregarious and others more reserved. If your reclusive nature is becoming a problem then your doctor is the best person to have a frank talk to.
People definitely can "bite" and there is nothing wrong in being cautious around new people IMO.

I should have added many people have suffered bullies and bullies fall into 2 categories:
1) Cowards with low self esteem who attempt to justify themselves exerting "power" over people;
2) The seriously mentally deranged.

I think it is hard for bullies in both categories to recover but their victims have the upper hand and can move ahead. Be positive.

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

I don't know if I have it but this is basically me:

I'm a 23 year old guy that already fears death, I also have a fear of flying, high heights, being in an elevator, also get these weird feelings that the ground beneath me will fall or that the earth will fall, I'm afraid when I'm in a small boat that the water won't carry the boat and it will drop to oblivion. I get nervous about small things every single day, I feel like a fat failure.

I got bullied in school and I don't have the courage to say things to people so I can sometimes sit alone in my room talking out loud what I would like to say to people that I recently met but I didn't because I don't have the confidence, and I'm afraid that people will just laugh at me if I say something that is wrong or dumb, I'm also the silent guy that rather likes to listen to people than to talk myself.

If anyone knows if I fit the profile, please tell me!