Help! I don't have any pc problems!

[Layback Bear]

A solution would be to respond to the next "Microsoft support" phone call from a foreign speaking person that will tell you that you have lots of viri on your system and to let them clean it up by remote. Should keep you busy for a while.

Rich

Yep that will work.

 

[Layback Bear]

After using all those cleaner programs go into regedit and try to repair all the damage those cleaners have done.
Give us a post back next year and let us know how things are going.

 

[Frank1]

I'll tell you what you can do that will give you some problems. Download some free software. Then when you install it, don't choose "custom" install to choose how you want it to install. Just install the way they want--the default install or whatever they call it. It will then install all kinds of crap on your computer. You will then have some problems.

 

[greebal]

If you get bored with downloading and installing software for your solution,
try blocking all air vents on your pc with strong sticky tape, may take time for a result.

For a faster result fill the pc case with the contents of your vacuum cleaner prior to blocking the vents.
Please be aware I have not tried this so there is no guarantee it will do what you want.

 

[matts6887]

Nah - most of the morons on the other end couldn't add 2 and 2 without the aid of an AS400 - they are more likely to screw their own machines up

True this Noel!; for sure!!

 

[aritra2116]

Delete system32. IT IS A VERY DANGEROUS VIRUS! Also, spill some Johnnie Walker on the keyboard. Always works 100%

 

[richnrockville]

Delete system32. IT IS A VERY DANGEROUS VIRUS! Also, spill some Johnnie Walker on the keyboard. Always works 100%

Blasphemy "spill some Johnnie Walker" should only happen on your bottom lip.

Rich

 

[Computer0304]

What have I done wrong? No viruses, all my pc's work perfect, w updates work, no blue screens, they always boot, sfc finds no errors, internet works, programs never crashes, ram is fine, restore points & backups (which I don't need to use) are perfect, zero problems with ssd & hd, etc etc. And this has been going on year after year!

A desperate situation, please help, need to create some serious problems which makes me post on 20 forums, not sleep for a week while trying to fix things, buy lots of expensive parts & components etc.

Thanks in advance. And a fine new year to all here.

You could just disconnect your boot drive's sata cable while updating Windows to cause a serious problem.

 

[DustSailor]

Spill some coffee on the keyboard.

That'll do it.

Delete system32. IT IS A VERY DANGEROUS VIRUS! Also, spill some Johnnie Walker on the keyboard. Always works 100%

Hey now. Once watched some movie in which a guy spills coffee on a keyboard... fast forward a bit, and the whole building, including a sleeping dude, disappears! Think it was called the invisible man.
PS - Sleeping in anything but a dark room sucked for him

But hey. INVISIBLE! hello!

 

[Fantail]

The fingerprint ninja's found my computer-reading glasses this morning at work. Of course everyone claims they saw nothing, yet they offer understanding.
I suspect a deep rooted conspiracy. :huh:

 

[NeilPaisnel]

Just try and get it to see other non Win 7 computers..I have amix here of FreeNAS, NAS4free, Ubuntu, Mac and Win XP..

All see each other just perfectly..file sharing, Network Neighbourhood etc...except the fin...g Win 7, machine .

Posted question here in the Networking forum..not one reply..no one seems to know.

I solved the problem by beating the laptop keyboard once/twice/three times so hard in sheer frustration, that the HDD must have got damaged during a write.. This then resulted in me bending the screen backwards further than it was designed to go, over my knee, snapping it off, followed by a beating to death with of the main case and motherboard with it own HDD...dirty ******* Win 7 won't piss me off again...

It will cure you of Win 7 entirely.

 

[aritra2116]

Have you tried installing McCrapee? Also try bearing the mobo hard with a baseball bat. Install packaged toolbar adware too. Works 100%

 

[NeilPaisnel]

Umm no baseball bat...guess a cricket bat will work just as well since I am in the UK